Natural Parent

Communication and Relationships

2012-01-08T22:56:00.001+10:00

A Dad’s silence can be deafening
Readers be advised - this article contains Christian content

Allow me to start off by saying that I love my father. In all that I have done, in all that I do, and in all that I plan to do, my desire has been, and is to always honour him. It’s been 5 years now since he passed away, and yet even today there is still a deep longing in my heart to really know him.

My Dad faced a number of demons in his far too short life of just under 54 years. Firstly, at the tender age of 6 years, he lost his sister to a hit & run motor vehicle accident. He always blamed himself for her death, and no-one other than I, ever told him differently. His own father was the town drunk, and my Dad hated him for it. My Dad very early on vowed to work hard to be the best at what he did, and he achieved just that. It was there he felt his strongest… on a construction site… and so that’s where he spent most of his time. When he was home, he drank to numb the pain of his past. In the end his liver ceased to function, he slipped into a coma, and died.

I never really knew my Dad, but I do believe he did the very best he could with what he had. Even his best intentions though were not nearly enough. I needed to hear from him that he loved me, and that he was proud of me. Whilst I knew in my mind that he was proud of me, he never ever verbalised it. And whilst I knew in my mind that he loved me, it was only 3 weeks before his death that he told me so, and not without some significant coaching from me first, might I add. After his passing, I was charged with the responsibility of being the executor of his estate. Even as I was sorting through all of his personal and business paperwork and belongings etc., I was secretly hoping to stumble across an envelope with my name on it… desperately hoping to hear something more from my Dad. I found no such note. In fact the most personal belonging I have of his is his old reading glasses.

My story and my relationship with my father are not so different to that of many other men and women around the world. So why is it that I say “a Dad’s silence can be deafening”? I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “as wise as Solomon”. Well the “Solomon” referred to in this phrase is actually King Solomon, dating back to over 900 B.C. Much of his wisdom is available to us today in what we know as the book of Proverbs, and one of those ancient proverbs says this… “the glory of children are their fathers”. Another word for “glory” here is “weight”, and my question to all of the Dads reading this article is this… “What kind of weight are you for your child?” Are you a weight that anchors your kids when the storms of life begin to blow, or are you the kind of weight that is actually sinking them? Another one of Solomon’s proverbs says this, “The tongue has the power of life and death”. Do you see the kind of influence that we as Dads have on the lives of our children?

So yes, the phrase “Silence is golden” sometimes applies, however in most cases, our silence, our passivity, and our apathy as fathers is actually unknowingly critically wounding our children. Our words, and more often than not, the lack thereof, have the power to bestow LIFE upon our children. Be sure to tell them that you love them, be sure to tell them that you’re proud of them, be sure to notice them and the specific things they do well, and then be sure to affirm them in those things. Perhaps you do all of those things already. Try doing it publicly during a special birthday celebration, or rite-of-passage ceremony. You’ll be glad you did, and you’ll be modelling intentional life-giving fathering to others in the process.

Yours for offering LIFE to our children,

written by Darren Lewis, Fathering Adventures.

Darren has been married to his beautiful wife Melissa for 18 years, and is father to his four courageous sons, ranging in age from 15 years to 6 years. Darren has not given up on his desire to live life to the full.

The Importance of the Outdoors in Raising Children

2012-01-08T22:31:00.001+10:00

This morning I posed a very simple question to my sons that resulted in some very interesting responses and lengthy conversation. “What are your all-time favourite experiences / memories?” Immediately their answers began to flow like a river in flood. Visits to theme parks, the beach, camping, and the first time ever riding a motorbike. One’s memories would spark another’s. One common theme was that all of their favourite experiences involved the outdoors. Another common theme was that I had been present. Perhaps if I hadn’t, my kids’ favourite memories may have been very different.

Introducing your son into the great outdoors is an essential part of his development, and you don’t have to be a hunter or extreme adventurer to lead him there. Simply provide him with terrain to explore, rivers to fish, and adventures to live and enjoy e.g. rafting and swimming. The outdoors will provide countless opportunities of calling forth daring and courage, and will undoubtedly provide the testing and challenging necessary to initiate him along his masculine journey.

When my eldest son Brandon turned 13, I invited him into a vision quest… a journey of sorts with me by his side, together navigating through the obstacles a boy encounters as he makes his transition into young manhood. One of our first experiences together was dubbed his “beloved son” weekend. I wanted him to know that I delighted in him and absolutely loved being with him. The destination I decided upon was Jourama Falls… a series of waterfalls that cascade down the side of a mountain here in N.Q. We would swim in a waterhole and check it’s depth before climbing up to the next waterhole above. We repeated this about four or five times before beginning our descent… leaping off the top of each waterfall into the waterhole below. I knew we would have fun, but what I hadn’t counted on, perhaps naively, was that fear would present itself. What an unexpected opportunity for Dad to dig deep into the soul of his son… to question his thought processes, and to guide and coach him. To play my part in helping him to examine and overcome his fears was priceless, and a memory that both he and I will treasure for a lifetime.

Another weekend that formed part of Brandon’s vision quest was dubbed his “community of men” weekend. Four of my good friends and I invited Brandon into our community of men for the weekend, where we demonstrated how real men have fun. We went white-water rafting and we hiked to the summit of a mountain. Of course the white-water rafting was a blast, but my biggest shock came during the hike. My son was a very capable long-distance runner, so I thought the hike for him would be just a stroll in the park. About one-third of our way in, Brandon stopped and stated that he was unable to continue. We were all able to speak into his life at that moment, reminding him that we all believed in his ability to push on and reach the summit, and that we would help him get there. He pressed on and was the second of our party to reach the summit. We asked him if it had been worth it, and as he surveyed the 360 degree unobstructed views below him, he responded with a resounding “Yes”. I warned him that there would be times in the future... at school and during marriage etc., when he would feel like quitting. I instructed him to remember this moment on the mountaintop… to remember the taste of accomplishing something he didn’t think he could.

I remain committed to my role as father of my four sons, committed to pursuing a deeper relationship with each of them, committed to providing them with a wide variety of outdoor experiences, committed to modelling authentic masculinity to them, and committed to one day leaving a legacy of four great, society-contributing men who will live on to offer even more to their families. Be sure too to ask your children what their all-time favourite experiences / memories are. It will provide you with the clues you need to truly know your child’s heart

Yours for getting the kids outdoors

written by Darren Lewis.
Fathering Adventures

We do have a choice

2012-01-06T00:01:00.004+10:00

We do have a choice after all!

For the past twenty years I thought the only choice I had was between Stayfree and Libra. But recently my eyes have been opened to a new choice in menstrual products.

It was after I converted to cloth nappies for my youngest child and I stumbled across cloth menstrual pads on an online shop. At first the idea made me shudder but then month after month I wondered why I was spending a fortune on disposable products that only added to the landfill and environmental concerns that saw us switch to cloth nappies. It took another few months and lots of online reading until I convinced myself to at least try; after all if I was happy to put my daughters bot in cloth, shouldn’t I at least have a valid opinion on my own bot in cloth.

So online I went and I was bedazzled by the array of types, sizes and fabrics – not to mention pretty colours and ended up with the beginning of my very own cloth stash. I hid them away and made my husband swear he would not ever ask nor investigate what was in the ice-cream container in the laundry sink – aka my cloth pad soaking bucket. Although the initial thoughts of soaking and cleaning pads put me off, I found that they washed up fine. And the soaking and washing was really no different to cleaning nappies. I started washing them with the nappies and now I simply run them under water before putting them in the nappy bucket to soak.

After my first trial of cloth pads I was sold, which prompted another online shopping binge. I knew what I liked now and what fabrics worked best for me. I actually found myself looking forward to that dreaded time of the month so I could try out my new “fluffy mail”. It wasn’t long after that I stumbled across the menstrual cup. More googling ensued and I thought I would give this a try too. Tampons and me did not get along well, if the cup worked any better than them I would be happy.

The menstrual cup changed the way I viewed my period from the first month onwards. I literally cannot tell that I have my period, it doesn’t even cross my mind. So easy and carefree to use and so comfortable I could forget it was even there. The cup used with a nice trim liner and I feel 100% confident every day of my cycle and I will never look back. The cup decreased the washing and soaking and also helped on the very heavy days when wearing cloth pads meant frequent changes or bulky pads. It also made it easier to use cloth at work as I don’t have to worry about changing pads during the day. The cup will easily get me through a work day before it needs emptying and on heavy days it is a simple process of emptying and wiping it out before reinserting.

In my initial research into reusable products I found a lot of links to decreased period pain, shorter cycles and other benefits. It sounded good but I couldn’t see the link. After a year and a half of using cloth and reusable products I can honestly attest that my normal cycle has changed from a minimum of 5-7 heavy days to 3-4 light days. Cramping and other menstrual symptoms have decreased most months to a point where I don’t even need pain relief, this from a point where I wanted to curl up and die for the first two days on heavy pain relief. The monetary savings have been huge also – a minimum of $30+ a month normally spent of pads, night pads and tampons. But by far the best bit is picking which pretty pad or colourful cup I want to use next time good old aunt flo comes to visit.

I can also hold my head up higher knowing that the choice of cloth for my daughter was also good enough for me and even better, I know now when my daughter comes of age, I can offer her a choice I didn’t know existed; not just between Stayfree and Libra but putting her health and wellbeing as well as the planet first!

Check out these great sites for more info

Cloth pad shop

Twinkle lily

Your Cheeky Monkey

Lunette

Noonee Wilga

Pregnancy - The good the bad and the ugly

2012-01-05T23:56:00.002+10:00

Pregnancy is an exciting and wonderous time in a persons life and while many woman find themselves feeling radiant and healthy many others run into many common pregnancy ailments. Presented in this article are some tips and tricks for keeping fit and healthy during your pregnancy. Please note that this article DOES NOT provide medical advice, it is a summary of the experiences of other women. Please see your doctor if you are concerned at any time during your pregnancy.

tiredness and fatigue - Most woman find themselves feeling tired and fatigued in the first trimester and at the end of the third. It is important to remember that the body is undergoing immense changes during the entire pregnancy and these changes require more from your body. Tiredness and fatigue is a sign that you need to slow down a bit and rest when you need it.

morning sickness - No one is quite sure what triggers morning sickness in some woman and not others, nor why some woman experience it for the first 12 weeks and others for their entire pregnancy. Morning sickness can strike at any time of the day or night and can range from mild nausea to dry retching and vomitting. There is a more serious form of morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum which is chacterised by very persistant vomitting (20-30 times a day) dehydrating and loss of 10-20% of a person body weight. If you believe you are suffering from extreme morning sickness or dehydration it is important to speak to a doctor.

There are plenty of old wives tales for dealing with morning sickness however a lot of mothers find they do actually work. Some might work better for others and you might need to try a combination, even changing tactics as your pregnancy progresses.

ginger - ginger tea, ginger biscuits, ginger beer even
sea sickness pressure wrist bands - available at most chemists
having something to eat before getting out of bed - try keep a packet of water crackers in your drawer
peppermint - peppermint tea can be especially soothing, even peppermint lifesavers (my personal choice)
water - the more water you drink though out the day and night the less sick you are likely to feel in the morning
potato chips - not ideal for your waistline but a lot of woman report feeling better after eating potato whether it be mash or the crisps variety
don't let yourself get hungry - hard I know when you feel nauseous but try to find a food that doesn't immediately make you want to vomit and snack on that. Dry trail mix and biscuits can be good to keep on hand.

varicose veins - These babies can rear their ugly heads in places you never expected - and people never told you about. Try and stay off your feet if they become a problem and keep the area elevated at night while you sleep if possible. You can also try witch hazel; available from some pharmacies or health food shops 100% undiluted witch hazel applied with cotton wool balls at night and then elevated can help to reduce varicose veins. Witch hazel is also helpful to treat those varicose veins on our nether regions - also known as haemeroids.

aches and pains - As your pregnancy progresses your uterus grows at an enoumous rate and the extra weight of the baby combined with the effect of relaxin on your joints can lead to losts of sore and tired spots. In addition, the demand for calcium and magnisium in your body can lead to painful cramps especially at night. Exercise is good to stretch aching muslces and joints but don't overstretch or try lifting heavy things you might find yourself a lot worse off the next morning. Take a good quality supplement of calcium and magnesium and you might want to consider seeing some allied health professionals or natural therapists to help such as physio, chiropractor, acupuncturist etc.

Power of Birth

2012-01-05T23:52:00.001+10:00

I have been wanting to write some informative articles on birth and birth choices for a while but I just haven’t had the chance to gather all the information I can to write something that is complete. In the interim here is a wishy washy couple of paragraphs that I have put together myself to try and hint at my experiences and feelings about birth.

No event in my life has filled me with such awe and inspiration as giving birth to my children. As I reflect on the experience of my first birth, I am still amazed at how when left alone my instincts took over so naturally, leaving me in what is affectionately called “the zone” a deeply relaxed, focused place in my mind where my body looked after itself and my mind was away on some deeper primeval thinking.

My birth itself was not entirely “natural” – whatever that means. But it still left me elated with what my body was capable of doing. Not only had it made another human being (with the help of my partner of course) but I had nurtured this baby inside my own body and then birthed my child - safe and well.

What occurred to me after my birth was the way we treat labour and birth these days. It is medicalised and distant. Something to be seen as an accomplishment if you can do it. A lot of natural birth advocates put pressure on woman to feel they have to attempt a natural birth however I think that the real way around the current birthing traditions and issues is to challenge the way labour and birth are visualised and treated.

I remember reading about the “cascade of interventions” – not sure where I read it first but it seems to be everywhere now. Where one medical intervention leads to more and more until one ends up hooked up to machinery with an epidural because the induced labour lying on your back is too painful which causes non-progression and a c-sec. I am sad to say that I have watched friends of mine travel this road and what do you say to them when they ring and tell you they are please to announce the birth of their child which had to be done via c-sec after a 32 hr induced labour? I told you so?

The knowledge we need to be sharing with woman is that the strength is there. Their body CAN and WILL do this. All the knowledge of positions and natural birthing aides fades away when a doctor in a white coat tells you your labour is not progressing, your pelvis is too small, the baby is too big, the baby is stuck, the baby is in distress, your are overdue and putting your baby at risk – WHOA MUMMA! The pressure of having this highly educated person before you telling you that you have failed at birthing is immense... Yet when we look at it, it’s not really their fault either. They are, as far as they know, doing their job. Their job is to ensure the safe delivery of your baby. To me it’s kind of like when you are looking after someone else’s child. How many times do you do something differently because it’s not just your child in the car. Games that are played, things you allow them to do, how carefully you drive home: more carefully than usual because this is someone else’s baby!

It’s a shame then that more doctors aren’t comfortable with the birthing process. That they themselves are taught that birth is a medical procedure which needs to be managed. There are set time limits for things, procedures to follow – if B doesn’t follow A after 24 hrs then do C.

It’s also a shame that more women don’t get to see other women birth. To participate and observe what takes place in the many variations of a vaginal birth. They don’t learn over the years the many secrets of helping a stalled labour, they don’t absorb the centuries of information women before us stored to assist in labour in birth.

But the good news is that this information is there. It might be in the form of friends and family who have a birth story to share, a good book to read, natural therapists who can talk with you about therapies to try in labour. There are also a growing number of women and men out there who gather this information and attend births as midwives and doulas, who can share the knowledge and the confidence in your bodies ability to do what it has been made to do and will share the journey of birth with you. There is so much joy and amazement shared in our pregnancy, our job is to make the birth just as joyous and amazing.

Sara Birt from Doula Birth has made an amazing video clip from births she has attended and I have attached it here with her permission.

Vaccination: To jab or not to jab

2012-01-05T22:34:00.001+10:00

Fairly soon after you become a parent you will face the decision regarding immunisation. For many it is a straightforward “yes” for others it is a definite “no”; but for most of us it is an agonising decision made more difficult by propaganda on both sides of the argument.

What is important to recognise is that parents on both sides of the fence and even proponents on both sides of the argument are fighting for the same thing, healthy kids and families. The difference lies in each families unique risk factors, personal beliefs and living choices and ultimately what they perceive as the biggest risk.

The pro-vax team has certainly a lot of pro’s on it’s side. No one can argue that vaccinations have saved many hundreds of thousands of lives since they were first used to protect against small pox in 1796. Immunisation programs have prevented many debilitating and disfiguring consequences of some contagious diseases and they have saved the economy a fortune in not having to care for the sick and maimed. However, now in the 21st century we have reached a point where people living in 1st world countries are reconsidering the benefits of vaccination? Why?

Thos who choose not to vaccinate also have some very good arguments on their side. They question the necessity of assailing a newborns immune system with a vigorous series of injected foreign bodies and chemicals, bypassing the bodies natural systems of disease defence. They also question the inclusion of many dangerous chemical compounds included in the vaccinations again, injected directly into a babies internal environment and they are also worried about the effect of the combination of so many vaccinations being given in such a short period of time and the accumulative effect this may be having on the bodies systems into the future. There is much anecdotal evidence that suggests that parents feel immunisations have contributed children’s conditions including autoimmune disease and autism.

As it seems that more and more families are questioning the issue of vaccination we do need to turn our attention to why? Is it possible that the vaccination schedule has gone too far? Is it similar to food additives where we have just kept adding and adding and not really thought through the consequences of our combined actions? Or is it simply a case of modern day parents not being exposed to the horrors of these diseases so we don’t recognise the importance of the life saving vaccines.

We have done up two lists which show the concerns of both parties and some options that available to parents these days.

Options for parents

Firstly find a GP who you can talk to honestly and openly about your concerns. They should be able to supply you with more information about side –effects and risk factors that apply to your family and area. If your GP makes you feel stupid for asking these questions – find a new one! There are going to be plenty more questions in your parenting journey and you deserve a professional who isn’t offended or put out by intelligent families asking questions.

Breastfeed. One thing formula can not do is continue the transfer of IG antibodies which began in the womb across the placenta and protected your baby from birth. Breastmilk contins both IgG and IgA antibodies which assist in fighting infection and developing the babies own immune response. In addition to this breastmilk is also believed to assist in development of gut flora which assists in preventing diseases such as E.Coli and rotavirus. Breastfeeding organisations are continuously publishing data that supports the idea that breastfeeding assists in development of many vital parts of the complex immune response in babies. If breastfeeding is not an option for you consider the use of expressed milk, either your own or in some areas that from a milk bank or donor.

Look at the current vaccination schedule in your area and consider delaying or spacing out vaccines. Sometimes this is applicable, particularly for families who don’t have children in care or at school and who babywear (which prevents exposure to a lot of pathogens). Talk to your dr about which diseases your family is more at risk for in your situation. Eg – whooping cough is particularly rampant at the moment.

Investigate the possibility of separate vaccinations rather than three in ones and don’t worry about the “professionals” who tell you that you are causing your baby more pain by giving them more needles – think long term.

Homeopathic remedies offer some protection from contagious diseases but discuss this thoroughly with a trained and certified homeopath as they work differently to the way conventional vaccines work.

Selectively vaccinate against diseases that you feel are worth the risk and remember your children can always obtain missed vaccinations later in life.

Basic hygiene. Wash hands, throw tissues in the bin, stay away from people who are sick. BUT remember we are building a healthy immune system which NEEDS to be exposed to bacteria and viruses to develop. Being overly clean and and hand sanitizers and antibacterial washes can actually harm the bodies natural defenses making it easier to contract some diseases, skin infections and develop allergies.

Clean out the rest of your life. Getting rid of chemicals in the home and food can give your body the ability to fight diseases more effectively.

Remember to keep sick kids at home, whether you vaccinate or not. Many contagious diseases are only contagious in the first few days before the more obvious symptoms develop and there are many in our communities who CANNOT vaccinate or who have lowered immunity.

Dispelling the myths

You are still entitled to benefits such as child care benefits and family tax benefit if your child is not immunised but you will need to fill out a conscientious objection form and have it signed by a doctor.

Vaccines offer protection from some preventable diseases however they are not infallible. Some vaccines have lower conversion rates meaning not every person immunised will go on to develop immunity. Also some vaccines only protect against certain strains of the disease. Immunity can wear off – remember to have your titres checked via blood test if you are concerned.

There has not, to date been a reliable study that proves vaccines are linked to developing conditions such as autism and autoimmune disorders, however it is a regularly reported coincidence by parents with children with these conditions.

Do you know what you're eating?

2012-01-05T22:10:00.002+10:00

Have you ever stopped and looked at what's in the food you're eating. Those long winded names, numbers and obscure words like "flavour"? When a friend of mine started telling me about artifical colours and flavours in food I admit I was pretty lax in the observant parent stakes. Yes, like most parents, I noticed my child "went hypo" after eating red frogs or drinking green cordial. But what I had never considered was all the other "ingredients" listed in foods, what they meant and what sort of effect they could have on my children and even myself.

After reading Sue Dengate's book "Fed Up" my eyes were open to the onslaught of chemicals our bodies encountered everyday. I was shocked, and at first adhered to the common thinking that if these things were really that bad for us, they wouldn't be there. When reports started surfacing about bans on artifical colours in the UK I started to look more closely at the research.

Unfortunately very limited testing is actually done on the effects these products have on behaviour and other physical symptoms. In addition, it is not just one or two things that we ingest each day, it's the compounding effect of the multitudes of artifical colours, flavours, preservatives and sweeteners that we expose our bodies to each and every day. On Sue Dengates website, "Fed Up With Food Additives", she states that most people consume approximately 20 additives a day, 19 in homecooked food.

What I was unaware of and found most shocking was the range of reactions caused by additives. We have all heard about hypoactive children and 'going silly', but I hadn't considered longer term effects; things such as moodiness, depression, exzema and cold symptoms. As adults we often see reactions in our children and yet assume it's ok for us to consume the same food. I found from personal experience that although I may not feel like running round and round the washing line getting dizzy, I could become very snappy, tired or even experience asthma-like symptoms after consuming some additives. I also had never taken the time to watch my children's behaviour in the days following exposure to high quanities of these things, it is not a simple reaction that passes in a few hours, the effects can be seen even days after ingesting these things, particularly when they build up over a number of days - such as on holdidays, over christmas or long road trips.

The good news is that the tide does seem to be turnng against the use of additives in our food. Recently in Europe the five top artificial food colours were banned. In Australian products we are seeing a very slow change to companies advertising "no artifical ...". However, as a compulsive label checker I stress that you should always confirm from the ingredient label what is and isn't in the food. A packet which may claim to have no artifical colours or flavours may have 3 different artifical preservatives or sweeteners or flavour enhancers. Companies are also not required to report preservatives if used in very small amounts or in the cooking process, so it may pay to ring a manufacturer to get all the information if you find you or your children are reacting to additives in food. But the change is coming and the more educated and aware we become, the more companies are going to have to make the change, and if one company can produce a cereal or bread without preservatives - why not all of them?

As Sue Dengate says in her books and on her website, our food has changed! It is no longer a simple choice of nutrition and convenience. We, as consumers, need to fight for our right to good, wholesome food without unnecessary additives and preservatives.

This list of food additives is taken from the Fed Up website - more information is available directly from their site

Some additives that can cause problems

ARTIFICIAL COLOURS
In sweets, drinks, takeaways, cereals and many processed foods
102 tartrazine, 104 quinoline yellow, 110 sunset yellow, 122 azorubine, 123 amaranth, 124 ponceau red, 127 erythrosine, 129 allura red, 132 indigotine,133 brilliant blue, 142 green S, 143 fast green FCF, 151 brilliant black, 155 chocolate brown

NATURAL COLOUR
In yoghurts, icecreams, popcorn etc, 160a is a safe alternative
160b annatto
PRESERVATIVES

200-203 sorbates - in margarine, dips, cakes, fruit products
210-213 benzoates - in juices, soft drinks, cordials, syrups, medications
220-228 sulphites - in dried fruit, fruit drinks, sausages and wine (for adults only of course)
280-283 propionates - in bread, crumpets, bakery products
249-252 nitrates, nitrites - in processed meats like ham

SYNTHETIC ANTIOXIDANTS
In margarines, vegetable oils, fried foods, snacks, biscuits etc
310-312 Gallates
319-320 TBHQ, BHA, BHT - 306-309 are safe alternatives

FLAVOUR ENHANCERS
In many foods
621 MSG, 627, 631, 635 disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate, ribonucleotides

Chemical Free Living

2012-01-03T16:04:00.004+10:00

When we start off our journey as parents one of the first things we do is lock up all the poisons and chemicals under the sink. But have you ever stopped to consider the chemicals that are in those products we use everyday? In our soaps, creams and lotions, toothpaste? What about the residue left behind on our benches, high chairs, floors and clothes from those poisons we lock up under our cupboards?

Unfortunately we live in a society where we have been blissfully unaware of the chemical creep in our home products. We rely on the authorities to thoroughly investigate and enforce the safety requirements in our products, however on this front the authorities are sadly lagging behind as science flies ahead discovering the dangerous relationship between chemicals in our home and the increase in cancer, respitory illness, allergies, ezcema and other skin problems. With new chemicals constantly flooding the market our watchdogs are letting us down.1.

A frightening discovery has been made recently about the chemical compounds found in breastmilk, Mariann, Lloyd-Smith and Jo Immig discuss the "sobering thought that breast milk, the most precious source of nutrition and protection for the next generation, couldn't be sold if it were a product because of contamination with banned bio-accumulative chemicals." 1 , 2

Compounding the problem is the relentless assault upon our bodies by a multitude of different chemicals. We are literally exisiting in a "primordial soup we now spring from is contaminated with a multitude of manufactured chemicals that are foreign to our genes and evolutionary detoxification mechanisms." 1 Think about how many times a day you wash your hands with an anti-bacterial hand soap, wash the dishes, clean benches and carpets with various stain removers and degreasers. Catherine Zandonella from The Green Guide writes that the average person uses nine personal care items a day with up to 120 chemicals in them each day. 2 Chemicals have become so much a part of our everyday life that we barely blink an eye at the stunnning list of ingredients in the products we pick up everyday.

Sodium lauryl sulphate or laureth sulfate also known as SLS is one of the most commonly used chemicals in personal care products and cleaning products that we interact everyday such as soap, shampoo, washing up liquid and baby products. However it has a darker side that is only now coming out into the open. SLS is a surfactant, designed to break down lipids and fats, soap up and make suds. However it is these very properties that interfer with out body; which is afterall made up of lipids and fats. SLS is a known skin irritant and can cause eye damage, skin irriation and assists other chemicals in crossing the skin barrier which is designed to keep the nasties out. In addition to SLS The Green Guide have compiled a list of other chemical found in daily products

The following has been referenced from The Green Guide www.thegreenguide.com

Antibacterials - Overusing antibacterials actually decreases your ability to fight common illness. Triclosan, widely used in soaps, toothpastes and deodorants, has been detected in breast milk, and one recent study found that it interferes with testosterone activity in cells.

FD&C Blue 1, used in toothpastes, and FD&C Green 3, used in mouthwash, have been found to be carcinogenic in animal studies when injected under skin.

1,4-Dioxane is a known animal carcinogen and a possible human carcinogen that can appear as a contaminant in products containing sodium laureth sulfate and ingredients that include the terms "PEG," "-xynol," "ceteareth," "oleth" and most other ethoxylated "eth" ingredients.

DEA is a possible hormone disruptor, has shown limited evidence of carcinogenicity and depletes the body of choline needed for fetal brain development. DEA can also show up as a contaminant in products containing related chemicals, such as cocamide DEA.

Formaldehyde has a long list of adverse health effects, including immune-system toxicity, respiratory irritation and cancer in humans. Yet it still turns up in baby bath soap, nail polish, eyelash adhesive and hair dyes as a contaminant or break-down product of diazolidinyl urea, imidazolidinyl urea and quaternium compounds.

"fragrance" may mask phthalates, which act as endocrine disruptors and may cause obesity and reproductive and developmental harm

lead may appear in products as a naturally occurring contaminant of hydrated silica, one of the ingredients in toothpaste, and lead acetate is found in some brands of men's hair dye. Brain-damaging mercury, found in the preservative thimerosol, is used in some mascaras.

nanoparticles, which may penetrate the skin and damage brain cells, are appearing in an increasing number of cosmetics and sunscreens. Most problematic are zinc oxide and titanium dioxide nanoparticles, used in sunscreens to make them transparent

Parabens,(methyl-, ethyl-, propyl-, butyl-, isobutyl-) which have weak estrogenic effects, are common preservatives that appear in a wide array of toiletries. A study found that butyl paraben damaged sperm formation in the testes of mice, and a relative, sodium methylparaben, is banned in cosmetics by the E.U. Parabens break down in the body into p-hydroxybenzoic acid, which has estrogenic activity in human breast-cancer cell cultures.

Petroleum distillates - possible human carcinogen, are prohibited or restricted for use in cosmetics in the E.U. but are found in several U.S. brands of mascara, foot-odor powder and other products. Look out for the terms "petroleum" or "liquid paraffin."

P-Phenylenediamine - Commonly found in hair dyes, this chemical can damage the nervous system, cause lung irritation and cause severe allergic reactions. It's also listed as 1,4-Benzenediamine; p-Phenyldiamine and 4-Phenylenediamine.

Hydroquinone - Found in skin lighteners and facial moisturizers, hydroquinone is neurotoxic and allergenic, and there's limited evidence that it may cause cancer in lab animals. It may also appear as an impurity not listed on ingredients labels.

So what can we do? We want to compile a list of products and businesses that have chemical free or low chemical items. Can you help? Follow our blog and comment below with

Name of product/store:
Chemical free or low chemical:
Use:

For your chance to win a baby and kids organic cookbook! (AUSTRALIAN RESIDENTS ONLY - unless you live overseas and want to pay the postage ~sorry)

All comments which contain the above will entered into the competition and a winner randomly selected on Friday the 6th January

references

Lloyd-Smith, M. & Immig, J. 2007. 'Homes turned into toxic zones' Sydney Morning Herald. 23 October
2. Zandonella, C. 2007. 'The dirty dozen chemicals in cosmetics' The Green Guide, 18 September
http://www.thegreenguide.com/personal-care/dirty-dozen

Cosleeping and Safety

2012-01-02T08:02:00.000+10:00

As a follow on from our previous post on sleeping I thought we would take some time to look more closely at cosleeping. Recently cosleeping has been copping some very negative publicity based on a advertising campaign by the city of Milwaukee in the US.

The ads feature quite shocking images of babies sleeping with sharp objects with the intention to highlight the dangers of sleeping with your baby. It's unfortunate that the city of Milwaukee felt they needed to take such a blanket approach to the high infant mortality rates in the city. The facts are, bed sharing can be safe if done safely and bed sharing or cosleeping can have many benefits for both mum (and dad) and bub.

A study from Durham University cites some of the benefits of cosleeping including a more successful breastfeeding relationship and better sleep outcomes for the family. Pinky McKay's article of on cosleeping discusses the outcome of a study which finds that babies who coslept had higher self esteem in later life. I choose to cosleep because it just made sense. Why sit in a chair and breastfeed my new born or rock or cuddle when we could both lie down and get some sleep.

However it must be said that, like crossing the road, there are some dangers associated with cosleeping. But just like other things in life there are precautions that can be taken to make cosleeping a safe alternative for families.

Deciding to cosleep with your baby needs to be that - a decision, not an accident. Falling asleep on the lounge or in the bed with baby is not cosleeping - it's exhaustion and it isn't safe. If you decide to cosleep some preparation and education for you and your partner is important.

It is also important to point out that without getting into the breastfeeding vrs formula feeding debate, cosleeping with formula fed babies has been found to be less safe that cosleeping with breastfed babies; however it is believed that this discrepancy is most likely due to positioning in the bed. If you are formula/bottle feeding pay particular attention to the position of baby in bed. It is recommended by Dr James McKenna that bottle fed babies sleep on a separate surface to the parents such as a side car cosleeper.

Dr James J. McKenna, Ph.D. Professor of Biological Anthropology, Director, Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory, University of Notre Dame shares some tips of safe cosleeping at the website "Safe Cosleeping Guidelines"

-You should never sleep with your baby if you or your partner are under the influence or any alcohol, drugs (prescription or otherwise) or anything else that may make you sleep more heavily than usual,

-Babaies should sleep in a smoke free environment,

-Babies need to be on a flat, clean, firm surface.

-Babies should be positioned at armpit or breast height

-Bed frames should sit firmly against the mattress and issues have been raised about solid bed rails and cosleeping aids which may allow baby to become wedged between the mattress and the item.

-Babies should sleep on their back,

-There should not be any stuffed animals, pillows, sheep skins etc. around the baby and the baby should never be placed on a pillow to sleep,

- Lounges, bean bags and even waterbeds or not safe places to sleep for infants either with an adult or alone,

-Baby should be dressed in the same number of layers as the parents and sleep under light blankets only (I personally found that together baby and I regulated each others body temps and particularly in a mild Australian winter - we usually kept each other warm enough under light blankets)

- Parents with long hair should tie it back,

- Obese parents or parents who feel they may not be able to sense where the baby is should consider if cosleeping is right for them,

-Babies under 1 year should not sleep with other children without adult supervision,

Dr McKenna also discusses the importance for both parents to be comfortable with cosleeping and to understand the risks. He encourages parents to discuss how they would feel if their baby died from SIDS in a cosleeping arrangement. For us, my partner agreed with cosleeping however he wasn't as comfortable with the baby being between us as he didn't feel he would wake up if he rolled onto the baby. Interestingly we both found we had a heightened awareness of where baby was, subconsciously and instinctively moving around baby without realising it, a phenomenon detailed in a presentation by the Australian Breastfeeding Association.

Studies have also suggested that safe cosleeping offers some protection against SIDS as the close contact helps regulate babies breathing, heart rate and temperature. Sleep studies have also recorded breastfeeding mothers checking on their babies subconsciously and even rousing when babies breathing becomes irregular.

No-one can tell you what is best for your family and particularly in these days or litigation, no-one is going to recommend you cosleep, however, for my family it was both natural and a sanity saver and is worth discussing and investigating whether or not it is right for your family.

Gentle Sleeping

2012-01-02T07:46:00.000+10:00

Sleep. It's such a strange thing. As children we resist it, wanting to stay up past our bedtime. As teenagers we resist getting up from it in the morning. As young adults we pretend we don't need it and subject our bodies to hours without sleep either for pleasure or pursuits. And then we become parents and sleep has never seemed so important. It seems to dominate every waking hour. If you trying to get some sleep or trying to get someone else to get some sleep then everyone wants to talk to you about sleep - "How much did you get? When did they sleep through? Swaddle or don't swaddle... Cosleep?"

And with all the questioning and probing comes the self doubt and the secret actions. You know the ones where you tell the old lady in the dairy aisle that bub has slept through since they were six weeks old or you tell your mother-in-law that your son does not spend every nap time asleep in your arms. Why do we as perfectly rational intelligent parents feel the need to pass on perpetuate these sleeping myths and continue to berate ourselves over sleep?

Firstly let me take an aside and admit that yes there are some babies out there who come out of the womb and instictively know when it's time to rest and snuggle off without a whimper or struggle for hours on end but if you speak to enough mums who answer truthfully they will tell you that the majority of babies are not like this, and that is OK.

Lets face it, we need to realise that these little people are very new to the ways of the world and this mysterious thing called sleep is also very new to them. So my first word of advice to you is to admit to yourself that yes for the next few years you are going to go without some sleep occassionaly and that is OK. And be honest about it so we can help new mothers feel better about their little Joe who wakes 6-7 times a night and is fed to sleep and little Joanna who spends each nap asleep in a sling.

Next thing is to look at how you and your children want to think about sleep. Sleep in my household has never been something anyone is lothe to do, my children skip happily off to bed each night and don't come out 5 times a night for water and questions. However it has been a long road to this point. My daughter, now nearly 3 has only just started sleeping through the night in her own bed.

When I first started looking at sleep and the common "sleep techniques" available to new mums I was deeply saddened. I didn't understand this pressure to make my child learn to sleep alone or independently at such a young age. If we look at a persons lifetime... is it really important that a baby 'learns' to sleep at age six months? After I started researching I found many psychologists and child researchers to back up my instincts to stay with my child. Elizabeth Pantly in her book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" cites various authors that recommend against various 'cry it out' methods as it leads to babies feeling abandoned, causing lasting emotional distress and trauma (pg 6). In fact trying to teach your child to be independent may actually lead to him or her being more needy and requiring more comforting than gentle sleep techniques. Robine Grille, in her book "Heart to Heart Parenting" talks about the neuropsychology term 'defeat response' where babies seem to fall asleep contentedly when in fact they have shut down. On page 120 she talks about how this conditioning of the babies brain can lead to the child using resignation as a strategy to face future struggles in life and undermines his sense of trust, safety and ability to reach out to others in a healthy way.

I often like to look into history for the answers to parenting questions as I believe that humans, despite our current social tendencies to live in the modern world still retain instincts to parent our children hidden deep down that stem from our baisc needs as human beings. If you examine most ancient societies you will find that most infants and children are breastfed to sleep. They also share family beds or rooms. Children are responded to when they wake in the night, generally by being fed back to sleep in the family bed. Reassurance, compassion and comfort. Seperate beds only became commonplace practice in 17th and 18th century Europe and I think we can look statistically at the degradation of society since those time periods in relation to human society and relationships.

Gentle sleeping can emcompass any techniques that suit your family. You may choose a gentle bedtime routine with a relaxing bath, low activity, noise and lights, reading stories together before lying down together until your child falls asleep. You may feed your infant and toddler to sleep or you may cosleep. Whatever suits your lifestyle and results in a happy healthy family.

For more information on gentle sleeping techniques check out the resources below.

No Cry Sleep Solution

A great series of books written by Elizabeth Pantly but also a web based service.

www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Pinky Mckay

An amazing author and as well as lactation consultant and birth educator. Her website offers fantastic natural and gentle parenting and birthing technique

http://www.pinky-mychild.com

Training or Learning

2012-01-02T00:10:00.000+10:00

It often seems as soon as your child passes their first birthday, learns to walk and speak the polite remarks begin. By the time my daughter was two I used to sit in our kinder music class with paranoid delusions that every other mother was noticing my daughter was still wearing a nappy while it seemed everyone else was in undies and doing the very common,"do you need to use the toilet" line every 15min. To be honest I fell into the habit of asking my daughter in the hopes that people would assuming we were trying... and failing rather than the honest truth. She wasn't ready and neither was I.

By just after 26mths I had toilet 'trained' my daughter, although it seemed more like I was the trained one as I needed to put her on the potty every 1-2 hours. She was an angel and would proudly produce what was expected when asked but had no interest in actually becoming independent. This was the moment I realised that this was not what the whole experience should be about. I had spent this parenting journey trying to build up an independent little person and yet at the first opportunity for her to learn about her body and the signals it was sending her I was literally flushing it all down the toilet.

So we stopped and reassessed and it was fantasitc. No more tantrums over potty's and mum was much more relaxed too. I have come to realise that it far more important that my daughter participates in this process rather then being forced into it in the long run. She now regularly talks about wees and poos and often tells us when she has done one. Occassionaly she will take herself off to the toilet and will make it on time, often we won't but it is a much better learning experience for the whole family.

Elimination Communication

2012-01-02T00:00:00.000+10:00

Elimination communication, also known as infant potty training, is practised in many countries and cultures. It is a process of fostering and encouraging your baby’s natural awareness of their need to wee and poo based on signals, cues, timing and intuition.

Babies are born with this natural awareness of their bodily functions, but in our nappying culture they quickly learn that weeing and pooing in their nappy is the done thing. You can respond to, and foster, this natural awareness by watching for the cues and signs your baby gives when eliminating. Alongside this, you can also teach your baby your own cue that they quite quickly learn to associate with these bodily functions. Over the weeks and months after birth, a two way communication develops between baby and parents (and other carers) which results in your baby being able to communicate their need to go through squirming, grizzling, etc, or go on cue when you offer a 'toilet break’ based on your intuition or timing. Your baby will become much less reliant on nappies, or even nappy free, and able to communicate their elimination needs to a much greater degree than is normally expected for their age.

ECed children generally become completely ‘toilet trained’ at a younger age than is generally expected in our culture, due to the continuity of toilet awareness from birth, and not needing to ‘unlearn’ wetting in their nappies. This approach is not to be confused with traditional toilet training, as the focus of EC is on communicating needs. Accidents along the way are common but are a normal and inconsequential part of the learning process.

Most families use some kind of cloth training pants as back up, particularly in places where an accident is undesirable, such as in carpeted rooms, or when away from home.

EC can be practised in varying ways

part time EC with full time use of nappies;
EC at home and nappies when out,
EC fulltime with training pants or regular underpants, and all other combinations in between.

It is easiest to introduce ECwith your baby between birth and 6 months of age and it is possible to introduce EC with older babies (>6 months) but different challenges may present as their natural awareness will have diminished if they have been wearing nappies.

Benefits of developing toilet awareness from birth:

Environmental – less environmental impact than if you are using full time cloth or disposable nappies due to the decreased reliance on nappies

Reduced energy use – less manufacturing, washing & drying of nappies

Reduced water use – reduction in washing, manufacturing of disposable nappies and in production of raw materials such as cotton

Reduced consumption of renewable and non-renewable resources – trees for wood pulp, crude oil.

Health – same as for cloth nappies; and your baby won’t be in contact with their own waste for long periods of time; no risk of nappy rash.

Enhanced bonding – added benefits of this approach are an enhanced sense of connectedness with your baby, improved ability to interpret subtle communication from your baby, confidence in your ability to meet your baby’s needs, and a strong sense of responsiveness towards your baby in regards to all their needs.

Consistent approach – avoids the ‘unlearning’ process that is required with traditional toilet training.

Comfort – the use of no or less nappies means your baby will be cooler in summer, and feel less restricted by nappies; they also have more opportunity for normal body exploration.

Saves Money – less reliance on nappies and coming out of nappies sooner means significantly less nappies required; no barrier creams needed; less washing detergents used.

written by Monique.

Modern Cloth Nappies

2011-12-18T21:54:00.000+10:00

When I had my first child I believed there were two types of nappies, disposables and terry cloth squares. Like most people I bought some of those crisp white squares with dreams of white soft towelling nappies billowing in the breeze while my happy cloth-bottomed baby played happily at my feet. Unfortunately, the reality was a little different.

Within a few months I was completely swamped in washing and sick of leaking nappies and having to change my little boy's behind every five minutes (or so it felt). So as far as I knew my only other option was the rows and rows of brightly coloured, plastic packets containing neatly folded paper and chemical nappies that assured me they were the best at keeping baby dry and having a breathable cloth like outter.

This was before I discovered the little known alternatives from elimination communication through to modern cloth nappies and covers and compostable disposable nappies.

Modern cloth nappies were brought to my attention whilst pregnant with my daughter. Of course when someone mentioned cloth nappies I immediately rolled my eyes and stated, "I did cloth with my first and it was useless!" Goodness me am I pleased I found out more before ignoring this information.

Modern cloth or MCN as they are commonly referred to are more complex than your basic terry square. From the basic system of using squares and covers, similar to the terry system or even with your terry system, right through to 'all-in-ones' which go on like disposable but go in the washing machine instead of the bin.

The Basics

You can use those cotton terry squares you bought with modern cloth covers. Made from laminated fabric or PUL (polyurethane laminate) with elastisied waist band and legs they not only contain those explosive newborn messes but really allow air to circulate through the nappy reducing the chances of nappy rash and heat rash. Other types of MCN covers include fleece and wool which are naturally water repellent materials so requires no plastic lamination thus giving you superior breathablility. Covers close with either plastic snaps or velcro.

For a basic nappy system you can also use prefolds in your covers. Prefolds are a similar size and shape to your terry squares but rather than the one layer they are sewn with extra layers in the centre third to give extra absorbancy in the middle where you need it. Prefolds can be folded in thirds like a pad and placed in the cover or you can fold them similar to a terry with a cover securing them in place. Prefolds can be made from cotton which is trim and cool or bamboo and hemp which give a greater absorbancy.

Fitted Nappies

Fitted nappies contain no water proof material and require a cover to stop moisture from dampening clothes and bedding. Fitted nappies are made entirely of absorbant materials, such as hemp, bamboo or cotton, in layers which increases the absorbancy. They are shaped much like your disposable and have elastic in the waist and legs to give you superior coverage from leaks.

Fitted nappies are generally less expensive than kinds which have the waterproof material built in and are recommended for over night and for heavy wetters. You can generally get by with less covers than nappies as you rotate the covers allowing them time to 'air out' in between changes.

Pocket Nappies

Pocket nappies or pouch nappies are called so as they have a pocket where absorbant material is added to the core of the nappy. The outside is made of some form of water proof fabric, usually PUL, although there are some wool and fleece pockets available. The inside of the nappy which touches your baby's precious behind is made from a fabric that is known for it's ability to quickly absorb liquids and draw it to the underneath layers. This might be microfleece, suede cloth or cotton velour.

The benefits of pocket nappies is that they are quick drying, are adjustable, so if you need more absorbancy you can add it or take it away and once 'stuffed' are simple to use like the popular all-in-ones.

All In Ones

All in ones or all in twos are just that; everything in one piece. They have the waterproof outter, absorbant material on the inside and a stay dry liner on the top which rests on babies skin. The absorbant part is either sewn in or clips in and out (called an all-in-two).

The benefits of this type of nappy is that it is very easy to use, just grab and go. However some can take longer to dry and are more expensive then other types of nappies.

Caring for nappies

Caring for these nappies is relatively easy and painless. Most retailers and manufacturers suggest what is called 'dry pailing'. This basically equates to storing all the used nappies in dry sealed nappy bucket. Alternatively you can leave them in asealed bucket with plain cold water.

What about the poo you ask? Easily dealt with. Many cloth parents will share their secrets of quick and easy poo disposable which varies according to the age of the child. Strategies range from the age old dunk and flush through to using a hose connected to the toilet known as a little squirt. Me? I left mine in a bucket of water and plucked them out with tongs come washing time, flushing the water down the toilet. Regardless of what nappy system you use and how you choose to get rid of the poo it is important to note that soild waste should be ALWAYS be flushed down the toilet, in fact in some towns it is illegal to throw human poop in the bin - just think of those people who work at the dump, not to mention where the water runs to when it rains at the dump - eeeww.

Other jargon

One size - these nappies fit from birth (4-5kg) up to toddlerhood by adjusting with snaps or folding the waist band of the nappy over. These nappies help save you even more money as there is no need to buy nappies in different sizes.

microfleece - A type of fabric known for it's ability to draw wetness away.

microfibre - a type of material that is used as the absorbant part in your nappy

fleece - a type of fabric that uses it's natural water repellent properties to stop wetness from getting through to clothes and bedding from the nappy underneath.

Styles and Benefits of different carriers

2011-12-18T16:25:00.000+10:00

There are many different styles of slings and carriers available out there today and they all have their own strengths, benefits and situations which suit them best. Here is a guide to some of the more well known styles. We would love to hear about your experiences as well as any styles we haven't got listed here.

Wrap Style
These types of carriers are made from a single piece of fabric, usually about 5-6 metres long. The secret to these carriers is in the method of tying. They can take a few practices to get the hang of tying but once you know how they offer great support and flexibility. You can also make these yourself without the need for a sewing machine so they can be a very economical choice.

Wrap style benefits
Flexible - can be tied in a vary of ways including front, hip and back carries. Also baby can be in an upright or surpline position
support - the traditional two shoulder cross carry offers great support for both parent and child with the weight being distributed evenly across your shoulder, back and the babies spine
breastfeeding - can be tied in a way to allow discrete and easy breastfeeding
Hands free- these carriers are secure and allow for both hands to be free.

Wrap style suitability
Can be used from newborn through to toddler (back carries recommended from 1 year of age)
Can be used by men and women - one size fits most. For larger or taller people you may wish to get a longer length
Great for around the house, housework, settling, witching hour
Great for out and about - offers the ability to tuck baby away out of heat/cold, light or stimulating environments

Wrap style tips
Get the hang of tying the wrap before venturing out with your baby
Tie the wrap on at home and you can take baby in and out as needed without removing the wrap
If you are making your own choose a cotton jersey for a stretchy wrap or muslin/cotton for a tighter wrap. Purchase one 5-6 metre length - do not attempt to sew two 2.5mt lengths together as this can place too much stress on the seam

Wrap style things to consider
The wrap can be quite warm in hot/humid environments - use a light weight fabric and consider wearing less clothing for parent and bub when wearing
Can be difficult to lay a sleeping baby down.
Back carries can be a little tricky.

Wrap style types
Hug-a-bub (HAB)
Moby
calmwrap
Maya Wrap
Ella Roo

Pouch style carriers
These carriers are also a single piece of fabric sewn in a loop or circle. You wear it over one shoulder and it creates a pouch for baby to sit in.

Pouch style carriers benefits
Easy on and off
Can be used for front, hip or back carries.
Baby can be in an upright or surpline position
Breastfeeding is possible in most pouch style carriers
Being a sized carrier offers a great fit, can be more comfortable and easier to breastfeed in.

Pouch style carriers suitability
newborn to toddler - however special attention needs to be paid to padding and weight distribution if you want to carry a child over 9kg for long periods of time
Men and women find this carrier comfortable however they are usually sized so you might need to purchase one for each member of the family who intends on wearing baby
best for quick trips like kindy/school drop offs, shopping etc.

Pouch style tips
Most pouch styles are sized so pay attention to the measurements and make sure you get one that fits well.
As pouch style carriers are one shoulder carriers make sure their is suffcient padding on the shoulder and back area.

Pouch style things to consider
One shoulder carriers can make it difficult to put both arms over your head so test this out if you get the chance.
One shoulder carriers can distribute weight unevenly for the wearer. Consider the weight of your baby, how long you want to be wearing them and your own back and posture condition.

Pouch style types
Peanut shell
Joey Sling

Pouch style ring slings

Ring slings are a one shoulder carrier like the pouch style. The difference is that ring slings do not have their ends sewn together, instead they use a ring near the shoulder padding which offers adjustability for different sized people, children and carries.

Pouch style ring slings benefits
Easy on and off
Can be used for front, hip or back carries.
Baby can be in an upright or surpline position
Breastfeeding is possible in most ring sling/carriers
flexible and adjustable

Pouch style ring slings suitability
newborn to toddler - however special attention needs to be paid to padding and weight distribution if you want to carry a child over 9kg for long periods of time
Men and womer find this carrier comfortable
best for quick trips like kindy/school drop offs, shopping etc.

Pouch style ring slings tips
Make sure you understand how the sling adjusts and that it is esy to do one handed
As ring slings are one shoulder carriers make sure their is suffcient padding on the shoulder and back area.

Pouch style ring slings things to consider
One shoulder carriers can make it difficult to put both arms over your head so test this out if you get the chance.
One shoulder carriers can distribute weight unevenly for the wearer. Consider the weight of your baby, how long you want to be wearing them and your own back and posture condition.

Mei Tei & Structured Carriers
These style of carriers offer a variety of wearing options however they are structured with buckles or clips which can make putting them on easier.

Carriers Benefits
Flexible - can be tied in a vary of ways including front, hip and back carries. Also baby can be in an upright or surpline position
support - the traditional two shoulder cross carry offers great support for both parent and child with the weight being distributed evenly across your shoulder, back and the babies spine
breastfeeding - can be tied in a way to allow discrete and easy breastfeeding
Hands free- these carriers are secure and allow for both hands to be free.

Carriers suitability
Can be used from newborn through to toddler (back carries recommended from 1 year of age)- see horrible photo on right of me carrying my 4 year old daughter in our Ergo
Can be used by men and women - one size fits most. For larger or taller people you may wish to get extension straps on some designs
Great for around the house, housework, settling, witching hour and for getting out and about

Carriers tips
Get the hang of different carrying positions before trying out and about with your baby
make sure the buckles, clips are always fastened securely.

Carriers things to consider
Can be cooler than a wrap in warm environments
may need an infant insert or other addition to be suitable for very young infants.

Carriers types
Mei Tei
Ergo
Pikkolo

Rigid Carriers and Backpacks
Rigid carriers and backpacks have a rigid frame generally made of aluminum. This allows you to take the carrier off your back with your child sitting inside.

Rigid carriers and backpack benefits
Back carries are easy and child is restrained in the carrier before putting on or removed
carrier can double as a seat, high chair etc

Rigid carriers and backpack suitability
These styles of carriers are suitable for children who are comfortable sitting unaided
great for extended wearing, backpacking, hiking etc
Also suitable for events such as festivals etc as the carrier can be used as a chair
A lot of dads feel more comfortable using these kinds of carriers

Rigid carriers and backpack tips
Make sure the structure of the carrier displaces the weight on the hips of the wearer
Ensure the child's weight is spread evenly on the seat and possibly with foot rests for good spine support
Some of these carriers have storage space under the seat which can be great for carrying snacks, nappies etc
Most manufacturers are US based and you will find these carriers in large baby stores and some camping outlets.

Rigid carriers and backpack things to consider
These carriers are bulky as they have a rigid frame.

Rigid carriers and backpack types
Chicco smart support
Kelty
Lafuma

Baby Wearing

2011-12-15T23:05:00.000+10:00

I guess I was lucky when I fell pregnant with my first child that the first book I picked up at the library was on “attachment parenting”. Lucky because in that book, the title of which I’ve long since forgotten insisted we buy a ‘sling’. When I brought home my baby 4 wks early he would scream whenever he was left alone or in his pram and who can blame him. He had been snuggled up inside listening to the beating of my heart for the past 9 months and now – BAM! Big wide world.
When I received my first sling – also my first internet purchase, I was so pleased to find a note that stated that anyone living nearby would receive a free “how to” lesson – phew! I had no idea what to do with this piece of fabric. I tried to figure it out myself but all I got was tangled so when this delightful woman appeared at my door, me trying to juggle my screaming baby I was ever so grateful. She taught me how to wear my one shoulder ring sling and the different positions we could try now and as he grew. He fell asleep in the sling before she even left. That was the day I fell in love with baby wearing.

From that moment on my son lived in his sling. We got many comments from people, some welcome, others not. Many people thought he was a handbag and got quite a surprise when my handbag wiggled or a foot shot out. Many a stickybeak got more than they bargained for when they peered in and found not only a baby but one breastfeeding while I completed my weekly shopping in peace and quiet.

I’m not sure I would have survived infanthood without our sling. I used it while hanging out the washing, cooking, vacuuming – everything. It was also great to use while shopping or out and about, to keep him close and prevent him from becoming overstimulated.

When my son was six months old we bought our first backpack. Even my husband loved this and I don’t think our pram saw much use after that. In fact our son accompanied us on our honeymoon in his backpack; one week bushwalking through the national parks of Northern New South Wales.

So when we were expecting our daughter the decision wasn’t whether or not we would get a sling but what type. In the years since I had my son I have seen the art of baby wearing blossom into mainstream parenting which is a marvelous thing. When I wore my son was often regarded as some sort of hippy new age mother – not such a bad thing in my eyes. The best part about the increase in popularity of baby wearing is the amazing assortment of carriers and slings available now.

For my daughter we had a wrap style carrier that I made myself and later a soft backpack carrier that I still use today at 27 months old. She has always loved being in her carriers and being mobile has been essential while chasing after an older child, doing school drop off, afterschool sport and other activities. From the day we brought her home from the hospital in her wrap to yesterday running around the AFL field with my son she has been ‘worn’ by either my husband or myself and we have loved every minute of ‘babywearing’.

These are the benefits of using a sling or carrier that we have found ourselves, from friends or in parenting books

- Convenience – breastfeeding, hands-free housework, shopping or even eating – if you’ve ever tried to juggle a baby and a sandwich you will understand this one.

- Many people have commented that it helps them to have a better breastfeeding relationship and even increases milk supply and wearing your baby in a sling can actually help with baby weight gain

- It reduces crying and colic. A 1986 study of 99 mother-infant pairs (reported in Pediatrics) showed that carrying babies at least three hours a day reduces crying and fussing 43% during the day and 51% at night. Babies are happier because they have less need to cry, and parents enjoy their babies more as a result.

- In some babywearing cultures it has been noted that babies cry only a few minutes a day instead of the hours noted in western cultures.

- It can reduce the risk of plagiocephaly ("flat head syndrome")

- Actually makes children more independent rather than less independent and can be very helpful during those clingy times and toddlerhood

- Babies who spend time in a carrier or sling tend to tune into their parents body rhythm

- Carrying your baby promotes bonding and enhances parents' feelings of competence and decreases postnatal depression. A higher frequency of feeding and touching stimulates mothering hormones, and frequent carrying encourages and speeds the development of a mutual reading of each other's cues.

written by Sarah M.

William Sears & Martha Sears. (1993) The Baby Book
Littlefield, Timothy R. "Car Seats, Infant Carriers, and Swings: Their Role in Deformational Plagiocephaly," Journal of Prosthetics & Orthotics 15, no. 3 (2003): 102-106.

Morris, D.(1992). What Comforts a Baby? In Babywatching (pp 80-82). New York: Crown Publishers Inc.

The birth of the journey

2010-12-23T23:46:00.000+10:00

Now I realise the journey towards birth and motherhood begins long before the pangs of labour do but for me, the birth of my eldest son was an epiphany for me which cemented our path towards natural parenting.

I guess the most poignant part of my birth is knowing that it could have gone so differently. I could have been one of those women passionate about VBAC, or I could be one of those women who sprout the benefits of epidurals and drug however I was... lucky.

Lucky, not because i think luck plays a major part in the birth process but lucky that along my journey from conception to birth I met so many people who through their experiences and understanding guided me on my path towards an empowering birth and parenting journey, most of all the miraculous midwife who participated in my birth.

I was 21 years old and 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. I had no siblings who had given birth, in fact I had never seen a woman give birth - unless you count those ridiculous scenes in movies where the woman lies on her back screaming for drugs and assaulting every man that walks into the room. I had only ever seen a woman breastfeed her child once in my life. I was booked into a private hospital in Brisbane under the care of an OB. So you can see how my birthing journey could have very easily turned out differently.

So at 36 weeks my OB advised me to go into the hospital on the following Monday the 23rd of December to have my blood pressure checked as it had risen and I was puffed up like a balloon. I spent the weekend downing fish oil and milk after reading a study which showed it could lower blood pressure and chances of pre-eclampsia. I toddled into the hospital that Monday at 9am with no bag packed but a sinking feeling that I wouldn't be doing much running around between now and New Years. At 10am after much monitoring and blood tests I was informed by the staff that I needed to see the doctor as they suspected I had pre-eclampsia.

At 11am the doctor examined me, finding my cervix at 4cm dilation and told me he believed I would be having my baby very soon. My emotions swivelled from intense excitement that finally I was going to meet my baby and fear of induction. Because I wasn't keen on induction he agreed to wait for the blood test results before deciding. I spent the next 2 hours alternating from doing squatting and hip rotations in the toilet and pacing the hills outside the hospital, hoping against hope I could bring on labour before the induction was decided on. Of all the things I wished to avoid - it was induction. I had heard horror stories of the pain and the effect induction could have on the intensity and timing of contractions. I was also keenly aware of the cascade of interventions that often sees induction lead to an epidural and then a c-section.

By 1pm I was told to go to the hospital immediately for induction, blood tests were not good and baby was arriving either today or tomorrow. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins and I knew that was not going to help me. I begged them to let me go home and pack my bags and see if I could get things started myself. But no I was to go directly to the hospital and the doctor would be there within 30 minutes to break my waters.

So a waddled to the hospital and back into the maternity ward assuring my husband he had plenty of time to go home and get my gear before we got started. A midwife very ungraciously accepted my request to eat something before labour started as I hadn't eaten all day. She was a grumpy old thing and luck was on my side as her shift was almost over.

When the doctor arrived at 1:30pm to break my waters I enquired about letting me go for a while before the syntocin was started to see if labour would establish itself but no he claimed due to my blood pressure we wanted to get things finished up quickly and being my first baby he expected baby would be born possibly tomorrow if we were lucky. Although I hope he had my and baby's best interests at heart I can't help thinking it may have had something to do with the fast approaching Christmas season?

I still remember vividly the way my baby struggled as my waters were broken, as if in a panic by the sudden loss of it's protective and peaceful bubble. I can still feel that horible desperate squirming feeling when I think about it.

At 1:45 I had my first contraction. It came like a wave rippling over my body and I mentioned to the grumpy midwife. Her response to the young little upstart was that it couldn't possibly be and "trust me when you have a contraction you'll know about it". I was hooked up to a monitor which registered the next contraction which rocked me harder than the first. I was flat on my back hooked up to a machine and extremely tense. It hurt. I needed to up, every inch of my body was screaming at me to get up out of the bed. But I lied there alone and gritted my teeth.
Again I asked if the Syntocin could wait now that I was having contractions but again it was refused. The doctor wanted the contraction 2min apart as soon as possible. But yes I could get out of bed if I really wanted too.

When the next contraction came I got out of bed and despite being hooked up to a drip and a blipping machine began rocking through the contraction. And that was how the midwife who would become my angel found me. She had a copy of my birth plan in her hand and we talked through it as I moved with the contractions. As the contractions came faster I began squatting as I reached the apex. It felt natural. I was no longer in control of my body I was the passenger as the primal part of my body took over completely and guided me through my birth. My midwife (whose name I have never been able to remember) suggested we disconnect the machines so I could walk to the toilet. It was such a shame that the monitor with all it’s leads and straps, couldn’t come into the bathroom. And that is where I spent the rest of my labour; as free as I could be, on labour mats on the bathroom floor - squatting, rocking and on all fours.

At some point through this we were joined by another wonderful midwife as my husband, bless his heart, hadn't returned yet. I distinctly recall the two of them, crouched down on the ground with me while I rocked on all fours commenting on how much they were enjoying sharing my birth with me.

After what felt like hours I sat on the toilet, exhausted and admitted to my midwifes that if this was going to go on for another 24 hours like the doctor had said, I didn't think I could do it. My midwife suggested we check how far dilated I was and reassured me that although it didn't really mean anything it might give us some idea of what options we could consider. I was 8cm and it was 4pm. I laughed hysterically when I thought of the poor doctor’s face who wasn't planning to come back until 7pm to see how I was progressing.

Sometime after this, who know how long as time passes in such a distorted way during labour, my husband arrived with my massive labour bag, full of all the thing I thought I needed to have during labour. That bag was never even touched. As another massive contraction rocked me and I dropped into a squat, I felt a twinge in my arm. As the wave passed I noticed blood running down my arm. I had somehow managed to rip that hated drip out of my arm and the midwife decided we would leave it out. I loved her so much as that moment. And then came that urge to push. That uncontrollable, indescribable feeling that rolls over your body and leaves you with no other choice but to let go and push with every fibre of your being. It was almost orgasmic, as each wave subsided and I rested, peaceful, in between.

I remember vaguely the doctor showing up at some stage too and there was a heated discussion between him and the midwife as he wouldn't examine me or deliver while I was on the floor. So she in her knowledgeable way suggested we put the birthing bean bag on the bed so the doctor was happy and I could be comfortable. You see why I call this woman my angel.

So there I was, fanny in the air for the doctor to gaze at and the contractions stopped. I was very mindful of the fact that my midwife had trusted in my body and allowed that drip to stay out. Also aware that putting it back in might cause the contraction to come too quickly for me to cope with now I told no-one. I waited as a contraction would begin to build but then it would peter out. I know now in hindsight that this was my bodies rest time and if I hadn't been forced to move out of my comfortable labour spot to a bean bag precariously balanced on a bed so a doctor could peer at my nether regions without having to bend over my contractions would have returned in their own time. But the doctor kept telling me I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't pushing probably. I was scared and had lost my safe space. He began saying things like this is taking too long, if you can't push this baby out soon we might have to order a c-section. I remember my key questions: Why do we have to do this? When do we need to decide by/how much time do we have? What are the alternatives?

Again my angel saved me. We tried some different positions, including lying on my side and slowly the contractions returned. I was only beginning to feel the crowning when the doctor stepped forward and decided I was too tired to push and an episiotomy needed to be done. He cut me as my contraction rode over me and I screamed and swore at him. It hurt more than the labour itself and I saw the shock in his eyes as he looked at me and gauged my reaction. I never felt the burning sensation that should have marked the stretching of my perineum and the crowning of my baby.

Despite his actions and after 2 hours of pushing my beautiful baby boy emerged into the world and was placed on my chest. And the final action my angel left me with was to still the doctor’s hand and wait for the cord to stop pulsating before it was cut.

The rush that swept over me was exhilarating; feelings of intense love, amazement and pride. I had birthed my baby. My body, my amazing body had created an entire human being and in such a primal act had delivered him into the outside world and it was beautiful.

Even though my birth was far from 'perfect' - whatever that is. It filled me with the most awe inspiring belief in the female form and the power of birth and today on my sons eighth birthday I again am so grateful to the people I encountered in my birthing journey; not only my miraculous midwife but all the other woman who helped me right my birth plan, talked to me about the process of birth, why it hurts, how to work with my body. The authors of books like 'New Active Birth' who educated me on how to allow my body to birth my baby. So many people who had a hand in guiding my feet onto the path of empowering birth.

In the aftermarth of a parenting crisis

2010-07-31T21:35:00.001+10:00

Wow! We are having such an amazingly wonderful week here in my household (touch wood - a lot of wood) Hubby and I were sitting down watching a movie this evening marvelling at our two gorgeous kiddies playing together on the floor, showing such compassion and consideration for each other, sharing, negotiating. And and we looked at each other smiling I know we were both thinking the same thing - PHEW!

Parenting is by far the hardest, most time consuming, energy absorbing, thought contemplating, gut retching thing I have ever attempted! It feels like I am constantly evaluating and second guessing every choice and decision I make. It's exhausting - and that's just the part after the kids have gone to bed :-)

Recently we came to a crisis point in our parenting journey where it really felt like the wheels had fallen off our wagon. Our darling miss 3, who, far from perfect, has always been a delightful girl. Yes we have had a LOT of Moments when things were not so rosey but in that midnight hour when your drifting off to sleep overall she was delightful. However for the last 6 mths things have been strained to say the least. Words that pop to mind disagreeable, irritable, moody, stubborn, tantrum queen... banshee???

I think the worst point was when the director of the kindy pulled me aside one day to 'have a chat' about Miss A. I was lost for words. I had nothing. I felt like a parenting failure! Worse than that I felt like an attachment parenting failure. I left the kindy that day head hanging low having apologised to the teachers involved with my little miss' 35min scream fest admitting that something wasn't working and hadn't been working for a little while now. Quite honestly even my assurances that it was simply the upheaval of moving and changing family circumstances were sounding feeble to me. I set the target at June and assured the kindy director if there had been no improvements by then we would look into something... what I didn't know.

At home with hubby we discussed our little princess and her behaviours at home and at kindy and he immediately jumped to the "this attachment thing isn't working". And it was those words that had my head reeling - because I had heard them before! I cast my mind back to a similar age when my son was three or four and we had exactly the same war conference.

Then, same as now his thoughts turned to a more authoritarian and corporal punishment plan of attack. We as a parenting couple have always struggled with this. As much as he supports and will sing the praises of natural and attachment parenting; he was raised in a different environment to myself, works in a different environment to myself and he often falls back on that, as we all do. The one issue that always has us at our battle stations is smacking: he believes in it, I don't.

Smacking; or rather not smacking is something that I am vehemently opposed to and although as a parenting team we agree not to interfere when one of us is disciplining an incident we both know smacking gets my mother bear genes out and it aint going to be pretty. The war council continued between hubby and I and I would be lying if I said we were in agreeance. One of the many good things to come out if it was the deep discussions we had about how we perceive parenting, our role in it and how it makes us feel; in particular hubby's POV that he often felt useless and out of control when our babies were younger! (explains so much - must blog about it another time!) But at the end of our many late night discussions we came to a truce.

I read my favourite books, searching blogs and online articles looking for what we had done wrong or missed! In amongst the angst I felt over being held responsible for "spoiling" my child - insert visions overwhelming me of what a bratty little demanding child she was going to grow into unless I toughened up on her. I couldn't fight my instincts which were screaming at me. Deep inside all I could feel was that I had to do more, love her more, be there more, make her feel more secure and at peace rather giving her ultimatums and more opportunities to fail.

I looked at her and I could see a little girl coming into her new independence and being both frustrated and scared by it. I could see in her what I see in so many of my students. That thought process that any attention is good attention. Daily as a teacher I am faced with children who have been brought up in households where attention deficient has a whole new meaning. Where they will do just about anything to receive some form of attention from an adult whether it be a time out, a stern talking to or a detention. I was determined not to go down that road.

So I decided to double my efforts at this attachment parenting thing. We started baby wearing again (or rather toddler wearing) around the house. Going about chores, shopping etc. It gave us lots of time to talk without me feeling like I was either constantly walking away from her or sitting with her frustrated that I couldn't get anything done. We coslept more often so she was getting a sounder sleep and wasn't as tired from waking in the night looking for us. But my secret weapon! The one I have always stood by in parenting and teaching is to give them many opportunities to succeed and few to fail. We made sure we kept the boundaries and rules enforced and had reasonable consequences and we spoke about how it made us sad or happy when she did things. But we kept the boundaries simple so we weren't constantly saying "no" or giving her opportunities to defy or rebel. We praised her when she played well, helped out, did things herself. We did a lot with her, guiding her so she has the opportunity to get praise. Simple things like helping her get dressed (when I knew she was capable of it) and praising her while we did it; building her confidence and lathering the attention while reinforcing the good things we wanted her to do.

I also wrote a long heartfelt letter to the kindy director and the staff and explained our parenting ideals and how important they were to us. It was extremely difficult to lay our parenting on the table like that, knowing that from their point of view it wasn't working but I really felt that they needed to know how we did things and how I would like it continued at kindy so that Miss A was receiving the same message thoughout her day. I nervously popped it in her lunch box one morning as I was too chicken to give it to them directly and waited nervously for the reply. Nothing! It was a day or two later that one of the carers approached me and thanked me for the letter. She was in 100% agreement with our ideas and offered to work with us.

The transformation was a slow one. One in fact I didn't see until just recently. June came and went without anymore "chats" with the director. My darling Miss A received the "star of the day" award 3 times! She is helping more, being more independent and generally delightful again. The greatest joy by far was her report card from her dance teacher at kindy who stated that she was "the most genuinely happy child she had ever met." And now hubby and I are sitting on lounge watching our happy contented children feeling a little chuffed that the those terrible tantrums are behind us - no doubt luring us into a false sense of security before the next parenting crisis hits.

Big Steps!

2010-07-26T22:02:00.000+10:00

I'm the proudest mother this week. My little girl is learning to go to sleep all by herself. How old is she? She's three and a half. And no by learning I don't mean we are locking her in her room each night and letting her sob herself to sleep like so many littlies do each night. I was planning on stating something like "not that there is anything wrong with that" to try and keep the peace, but I couldn't do it... because in my heart there is something wrong with that, very wrong.

Now I know each parent is different and each circumstance unique, and yes I have heard some families state it was the only way their child would sleep. But I'm sorry, I still don't get it and I can't condone it. But I'm not going to go into the statistics and the research that supports gentle sleeping methods. I wanted to share my joy of my darling making this choice to want to try and go to sleep by herself. A decision she came to by herself and is ready to attempt.

I know most people in our circle of real life family and friends (as opposed to my online friends who share similar thoughts and ideals) have often thought we were a little weird. The comments that we would spoil our children seemed to stop after our son was 2-3 ish? Maybe they realised we didn't really care about their opinion, or maybe they could see the beautiful, confident and gentle child he was growing into. We lived through the many rolled eyes when we had friends over or were visiting relatives when either my husband or I would excuse ourselves to go and spend 20-30 min reading and then sitting quietly beside our child's bed while they chatted and then slowly drifted off to sleep. But honestly it never bothered me. I knew in my heart that these days were numbered and one day they would be grown up and they wouldn't want us there anymore.

That doesn't mean there wasn't times when I would sit there willing them to go to sleep just a little faster. Or wish desperately that they would go to sleep on their own because I had a million things to do; assignments due in, work to do, friends laughing and chatting without me. But at times like this when I felt the most irritated and impatient I also discovered that not only was I wasting this special time but my pent up frustration wasn't helping anyone to find a restful sleep. It was only when I calmed down and took some deep restful breaths myself that both of us could find some peace!

My son is 7 now and is reading massive chapter books by himself before turning off the lights and heading to sleep. Sometimes, only sometimes he might allow me to read to him or he'll clamber in with his sister for a shared story... but he tells me reading is much faster when you do it yourself and you get to the exciting bits faster :-) So my daughter and I (and my husband when it's his turn) have come to enjoy this quiet family time after dinner and baths when everyone is snuggling up and ready for bed and now our youngest has decided she too is ready to go to sleep by herself.

We've read her the books, snuggled and hugged goodnight, switched of the light and told her we'll be back to check on her. I hover by the door ready to go in a a moments notice, humming quietly so she knows I'm nearby. And sometimes she'll call out and ask if I'll sit with her for just a little while, telling me the whole time what a big girl she is and that she doesn't need us anymore. And I know she is learning to go to sleep by herself. What wonderful healthy loving sleep habits to develop. Knowing someone who loves you is always right there and feeling so confident in herself that she doesn't need us anymore. I can only hope that this beautiful self-confidence continues to grow and guide her in her other choices in life.

And as we farewell another step in parenthood, I'm a little sad; well OK a lot. To say goodbye to those precious bedtime moments but I know there are plenty more special moments we'll have as both our children grow and learn and at least I feel in my heart that we have done the "right thing", whatever that is. We have done our best to raise our children up the way it feels right inside, listening to our intuition and our hearts and loving every minute of it.

Powered up

2010-07-17T21:35:00.000+10:00

As some of you know our family recently bought a house and are in the process of renovating. The great thing about it is all the opportunities we have to go green along the way. However as we have discovered going green is not always the easiest and cheapest option when it comes to renovations and buildings.

One thing my economical husband has always approved of is energy saving. More for the money aspect than the environment but he is committed which keeps me in line. This house however seems to be as energy conscious as my partner and has a tendency to throw the towel in if we turn on more than 4 appliances at once. Although frustrating for the first few weeks it has now become such an ingrained part of our life that I’m almost pleased. It has raised our families’ awareness of how much power we truly use each and every day.

Recently I was discussing my power issues with my 7th grade class as part of our sustainability unit and I posed the question to them of how many electrical appliances were turned on in their home in the afternoon. The number had my jaw dropping! Some students reported over 30 things being switched on or on stand-by in one hour long session in the afternoon. This discussion was pre-empted by my statement that electricity usage in our city is three times what it was ten years ago. So many things we consider (or rather don’t consider) important in our lives today are powered by electricity: cordless phones, computers, tv, gaming systems, mobile phones, ipods, CD players, DVD players, stoves, microwaves and dishwashers. The list is endless.

It was great to hear the students discussing their power usage and some even discussing the results of having an power monitor provided by the governments Climate Smart Home’s initiative.

So our energy issues prompted some action, obviously we were going to need an electrician! But at the same time it got us thinking solar. We have dabbled in solar power before; installing a solar hot water system in a previous house and at a recent home show we discussed the possibility of going all solar with this place however the dollar signs put the brakes on that one pretty fast. However with energy prices set to rise over the next five years we figured why not get the whole lot done now.

So over the coming few weeks we are having first the hot water and then the electricity panels installed and we’ll be powered up again. And the more we researched the more it seems like the country is abuzz with renewable energy ideas. With both state and federal governments offering incentives to homes, schools and businesses to install solar panels to feed into the power grid my mind was filled with images of energy self-sufficient towns and cities. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it became standard for all homes to supply some if not all of their power through solar, wind and other renewable energy sources. If every city was a solar city, not just a chosen few.

Already you can see examples of homes and businesses embracing the solar concept such as this house.

And this amazing building; the Sanyo Solar Ark, built out of reject solar pannels destined for the rubbish dump

And although our place is never going to be an architextual marvel nor 100% self-sufficient, the most exciting part is yet to come as we explore options for passive heating and cooling and continue to try and reshape our house into an eco friendly, sustainable home. My brain is just exploding with ideas regarding skylights, use of vegetation to direct airflow and sunlight and using simple things like windows, louvers and insulation to cool and warm our house - maybe even a green wall or green roof? The options are endless!

Be part of the revolution!

2010-07-09T20:27:00.000+10:00

I love being right. Don’t you? And I’m sure in the past few years since my passion for natural parenting and chemical free living has grown there have been many times when my husband has shaken his head, convinced the woman he married has run off and instead he is living with some hippie woman who ultimately want to live in far off woop woop without electricity and running water. But recently it seems the rest of the world is catching up with what a lot of us have known for a long time; many of the things in our everyday lives are not good for us. The most recently publicised the steps taken by the FDA in Australia to encourage major retailers to phase out baby bottles containing BPA or bisphenol A.

I said to my husband just over 12 months ago – that’s it we are getting rid of all this plastic stuff. I banned plastic water bottles, unless they were BPA free and got the kids stainless steel bottles instead. I’m sure he thought I was off my rocker when I ditched a lot of our “microwave safe” stuff and headed for glass. Probably the last straw was when I started sending his lunch in cloth wrappers. But being the patient and cautious man he is. He put up with my notions and I was proud to be able to stand up and say – I told you so now that acknowledgement has been made about concerns over the dangers of BPA and phalates in plastic products.
What a great time to be part of the revolution when it seems finally science is backing up what many have thought for a very long time. Just looking around the supermarket shelves you can see what a difference knowledge and the power of the consumer dollar can have as more and more people are searching for chemical free living products.

More and more food without artificial colours, flavours and preservative (yes I know scoring the trifecta is still difficult but compared to five years ago – wow what a difference.) You can even purchase cleaning products and personal care products like toothpaste and shampoo in the mainstream supermarkets that are petrochemical free. You may have been one of the people who saw an ecstatic woman jumping around excitedly in the cleaning isle last week when I found 3 – yes 3 different brands of dishwasher tablets that were plant based and eco-friendly – not just with low potassium and sodium.

I often used to sit morosely wondering what the world would be like in 50 years time but it small steps like this that have me picturing perhaps a better future than I would have thought. One where our scientific advances have worked to create a truly better world, not just for us, but for the world itself. Where maybe my dream of living in Woop-Woop completely self sustained will be the norm rather than the exception.

Looking after the most important asset

2010-04-26T01:43:00.000+10:00

Congratulations you have welcomed a little bundle of joy into your life and you are determined to give this “attachment parenting” or “natural parenting” thing a go. You’ve got the cloth nappies washed and ready to go, organic babywear, you’ve got you new fandangled sling, are exclusively breastfeeding and have no need for a cot cause your cosleeping baby!

But day one comes around and you can’t quite work out how the sling is meant to sit, bub looks all squished and not at all comfy, your nipples are sore and possibly cracked and Aunt Jo just rolled her eyes as you put baby to the breast for the third time that afternoon. Your beautiful cloth nappies are in need of the cleaning fairy and your partner assumed hooking up the little squirt was as much involvement as would be required when it came to handling dirty nappies. Cosleeping is great except you haven’t slept a wink because you are so afraid of rolling on baby. You are exhausted, strung out and never knew a shower would become your main goal of the day.

Each day you are feeling the pressure from those around you in society and perhaps even your own family. Your well-meaning partner might suggest they pop down the road and pick up a packet of disposables or some artificial breastmilk and it is easy to start feeling overwhelmed, guilty and loose sight of what was important in the first place

“Natural Parents” or parents who practice gentle methods of parenting have a reputation for being very laid back, relaxed and in some detrimental articles just plain lazy. In my experience parents exploring intuitive parenting are some of the most well informed and hard – working parents around. They are constantly evaluating their parenting choices, researching and searching for the best possible methods to raise happy and healthy children. But often us parents today have some very high expectations of ourselves and can quite easily become disillusioned, guilt- ridden and overworked.

The important thing to remember is that you are your babies most important asset, without you there is no attachment or instinct so you need to be looking after yourselves. Here are some ideas that might help as you consider taking some natural or instinctive parenting choices no mater where you are on the continuum.

Look after yourself

The old adage of ‘sleep when baby sleeps’ is old for a reason – it’s true and it works. Sleep wherever you are comfortable as long as baby is safe. If bub is happiest cosleeping with you then do it. As long as you are on a secure surface (not too soft) and baby is in no danger of rolling off then the extra security of your smell, sounds and touch will ensure a better sleep for both of you.

Although research has shown that, mother’s in particular, as long as they are not under the influence of drug or alcohol have an innate ability to sense where there baby is and often perform simple checking mechanism in their sleep without even waking. . However if it is making you nervous and upsetting you or your partners sleep there are a number of aids you can look into including side car cribs, sleepers that fit in your bed and speciality pillows designed to create a safe sleeping barrier between members of the family in the bed. Even having the cot in your room can carry many of the benefits of traditional co-sleeping.

Eat well and drink water. Have a supply or quick easy snacks to grab on the go so you can keep your energy levels up. If your partner is working or you have well-meaning friends they might make you some lunch and pop it in the fridge for you to grab when you can.

Remember to set aside “me” time to recharge your batteries it might only be once a week or it might be 5 minutes before you go to bed to clear your head, reflect, read and relax.

Look after your partner

Keep up the communication and discuss what is happening. Often we can feel our days are not as interesting if we are at home or alternatively if you are back in the workforce you might feel guilty about enjoying the time away for the day to day chores. It is also important to discuss parenting ideals. Some partners can struggle with concepts behind gentle or natural parenting alternatives, especially if they weren’t privy to the reasoning’s behind the ideas and theories.

Make sure you talk about what is working for them, their concerns and ideas as well as what you have read or learnt. It is easy for partners to feel ‘out of control’ also which can lead to them feeling frustrated and excluded. Discussing what is happening and why you as a family have chosen the path you are on is so important to creating a harmonious parenting environment. Talk, talk and talk!

Tackling too much at once

When we start to see all the alternatives in natural parenting it is easy to try and change your life overnight. It might be a bit much to tackling cloth nappying, chemical free cleaning, organic cooking, baby wearing and homeschooling all in one week. Start off easy and give yourself time. If you need to buy disposables or commercial cleaners remind yourself of all the good you have done already compared to if you had never started making changes.

Start small and work your way up to bigger things, try part-time nappying or eliminate the worst of your cleaners before throwing out your whole personal care range.

Talk to others.

Another old adage; ‘don’t reinvent the wheel’ holds true here too. The natural parenting community is unique in that it is filled with knowledgeable parents with similar ideals who want to share their little tricks of the trade that they have come up with. Chat with them and use the resources available to you.

There are organisations that offer babywearing clinics and even loan out different babycarriers. The Australian Nappy network can organise a volunteer to show you the different types of nappies available to you. Talk to other parents about how they made chemical free living, homeschooling or breastfeeding work for them. And don’t stop there – ask a few people and get all their ideas so you can formulate your own plan of attack.

Most importantly don’t forget what brought you to this point in time in the first place – your instincts! If it doesn’t feel right for your family, if it is too hard or causing too much stress then maybe it’s not right for you? Sometimes challenges we face can be overcome but if you have been struggling with a concept for a while then perhaps it’s worth re-evaluating whether or not that choice is really right for you and if it really is instinctive to you.

Have you got any ideas or tips to share with parents new to natural, gentle or instinctive parenting? We would love to hear from you

Are you still wearing that thing

2010-04-24T22:07:00.000+10:00

I opened one of our packing boxes today and found the thing I had been searching for for the past four months... our sling! Well our Ergo to be exact but each to their own.

To be honest I didn't even realise I had left it behind until we had settled in our new town, my daughter had started full time daycare for the first time ever, her father was away for work for 6 weeks and we were living in a different house. That was when my normally exuberant and independent little girl started becoming very clingy and demanding.

I was struggling to cope with her new behaviour and close to pulling my hair out. I understood why she wanted to be with me so much with all the changes and upheavals but I was struggling to cope with meeting her needs for comfort and my need to be able to move around and do things. What I would have done for my Ergo!

The benefits for carrying infants are reasonably well known (well amongst babywearers at least) ; babies cry less, feed better, gain weight quicker, maternal depression rates are lower and general well being is higher. Many peer-reviewed and scientific journals make comment on the correlation between maintaining high levels of contact and "in arms" time and more independent, well behaved children with greater emotional stability and ability to handle stress in later life. Societies where babywearing is the norm have lower incidence of violence and children are more obedient, and are more emotionally stable.

However I had not really considered babywearing past the toddler stage. By around 2 both my kidlets were more than happy to cruise around independently and the need for the carrier decreased. But then we had never had so many upheavals as we have had this year.

As soon as I opened the box and pulled out our trusty old Ergo my daughter was ecstatic. We popped on the backpack and she climbed and there she sat happily chatting away for over an hour while I went about unpacking, putting away washing and doing homework with my older son. Both our stress levels dropped dramatically from what had been a guilt ridden flurry of activity while I attempted to rush around doing the domestic chores that needed to be done while trying to give my attention equally to both my kids to a pleasant calm experience where everyone was getting what they wanted.

Even my husband could see the benefits when he walked in the doors to a house full of happy family instead of the stressed out banshee family he has been coming home to lately and in answer to his comment - "Are you still wearing that thing? with a massive smile plastered across his face. I say a big heartfelt YES to toddler and small child wearing and encourage you to try it out if your not already!

If you would like more information about slings and carriers and what type would suit you and your family you can check out this link here

http://naturalparent.com.au/category_14/Babywearing-slings-and-carriers.htm

Always Read The Label

2010-04-08T22:49:00.000+10:00

“Always read the label and follow the directions”, an adage my mum drilled into me after a family friend killed their entire lawn using weed killer instead of fertilizer and one that has stuck. Now that we are switching over to a chemical free lifestyle however the meaning behind the saying has taken on a new perspective. Rather then needing to read the label and follow the directions to prevent giving myself chemical burns or killing my lawn it is more about finding out what is really in many products marketing themselves as “natural”.

As part of another little piece I am writing about the emergence of more commercial products geared at being eco-friendly and natural I was dismayed to find so much false advertising out there in so many products. And it was also sad to see the number of people who are out there trying to purchase products that are better for themselves and the environment and are being lead astray. Some of the worst being baby products.

The current trend seems to be to add some natural plant extracts to the end of a product and brandish it as natural. In cleaning products it is usually the lower rates of phosphates that allows them to stamp “ECO-FRIENDLY” all over their packaging but being eco-friendly does not mean that it’s skin friendly. Probably the worst example I found was insect killer with natural ingredients! Clearly adding a natural insecticide to an aerosol can makes everything better, anyone who has walked into the room after it has been sprayed with insect killer will be able to tell that ain’t good for you!

But it doesn’t stop at personal care and cleaning products. A recent war has been declared on artificial colours, flavours and preservatives; particularly in kids food. So many products these days are appealing to parents trying to give their children healthy food however it seems most of these products are just trading one nasty for another. Most which claim they have no artificial colours are loaded with preservatives, flavour enhancers, and other unnecessary numbered ingredients. Those claiming to have nothing artificial often contain sneaky little natural additives like colour 160B or annatto which has been shown to be just as effective at causing food intolerances as the artificial ones. Those that are low in sugar are either high in fat or artifical sweetners. Shopping for us these days has become more of an exercise in skim reading and in addition to juggling the kids and the calculator I have a card of additives to avoid and the internet to google the sneaky names of chemicals companies change to hide what's really in them

Don’t even get me started on labelling of toddler milk substitutes and the adding of dietary supplements to each and every food including bread and milk.

So in this day and age it is so important that we are out there reading the labels and instead of following the directions, follow your instincts and refuse to fill your bodies and houses with numbers and ingredients you can’t pronounce.

For more info on chemicals to avoid check out these articles

http://naturalparent.com.au/category_16/Toxic-Chemicals-in-Your-Home.htm

Crying out against Crying It Out

2010-02-21T16:48:00.000+10:00

Last night as I switched off the lamp after reading to Mr X and Miss A in our suburban house I was deeply saddened. Echoing around our snugly little cocoon were the cries of many babies and toddlers crying themselves to sleep. As a talked gently with my children and we reflected on our days and they quietly turned and fell asleep I stayed and listened to the anguished cries slowly lessen and fade as more babies resigned themselves to being abandoned.

What made me sadder was the fact that dotted around in the houses I'm sure were pockets of parents with their instincts screaming to them to run and and cuddle their bubs yet the "experts" tell them this is the wrong thing to do. I remember when the "experts" told me when my son was 9mths old that I too 'needed' to do this - despite my assurances that I was more than happy with night-time parenting. I remembered fondly the quiet hours I spent settling my newborns; rocking, breastfeeding and co sleeping imagining the network of other new mothers who were also gently settling their babies in these twilight hours. I knew my friends were doing the same but I guess I was naive to imagine that the "cry it out" message had gone out of fashion simply because I moved into a new circle of friends.

The fact is more and more parents seem to be listening to the "cry it out" message despite many parenting experts warning against it's use. Parenting groups are again at odds as parents try and find their way through all the "recommendations and manuals" on how to have a perfect baby instead of listening to their instincts. Why is it that society now feels children need to be managed like an inconvenience? Something that needs to be scheduled and regimented for what benefit? Has society forgotten what parenting is about; caring for our offspring, our children who are too helpless to care for themselves.

Human Beings are physically and mentally geared to care instinctively for their children. Pinky McKay in her book, "Sleeping Like A Baby" discusses the physical changes that take place in a woman prior to birth to assist with bonding and the results in that deeply instinctive reaction to a crying baby including the 'let down' reflects experienced by breastfeeding mothers. The hormonal changes similarly effect the partners via pheromones which is why parents feel that urge to pick up a crying baby. If you ever watch someone handling a baby you will notice instinctive reactions such as rocking, "shhhing" and skin to skin contact. All instinctive reactions to caring for offspring. Yet we are encouraged to deny these instincts and teach our children to be independent and "self settle"?

Robin Grille in his book "Heart to Heart Parenting" quotes a statement from the Australian Association of Infant Mental Health which say "AAIMHI is concerned that the widely practised technique of controlled crying is not consistent with what infants need for their optimal emotional and psychological health, and may have unintended emotional consequences". He goes on to state that when babies subjected to controlled crying do eventually fall asleep it is not the blissful slumber parents imagine, it is more of a numbing or shutting down reaction that can lead to a permanent change in the child's ability to deal with stress and relationships in later life. You won't find that in the parenting manuals!

Babies are not meant to be alone. They are not mentally able to understand when a parent leaves, that they will return; so when a parent turns and closes that door - they are gone forever as far as baby is concerned. Babies who experience controlled crying or controlled comforting are exposed to increased levels of stress hormones and can even experience infant depression. Perhaps when psychologists examine the increase rates of depression in adult they should investigate a correlation between numbers of infants exposed to controlled crying and depression and inappropriate stress reactions in adults??

Controlled crying or scheduled settling techniques can also have an impact on breastfeeding and weight gain as it decreases contact and encourages extended periods between feeds which decreases breastfeeding supply and also means babies have less access to nutrition. Science tells us that babies are physiologically designed to feed every few hours which should give the called "experts" the heads up on what instinctive parents already know. Babies wake up frequently because they need to. But most importantly we need to recognise that their is more to living then whether or not a person receives the recommended daily intake of nutrients. Anyone who has a basic knowledge of human psychology will recognise Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs which recognises that above physiological needs are emotional needs. It also recognises that without the emotional needs being met a person cannot reach the highest order of personal security and self-esteem.

What can't be forgotten however is the fact that across the modern world thousand of parents are struggling with sleep and night-time parenting. While it is OK for me to stand here and shout the praises of gentle sleeping I have also felt that frustration of the child that has woken for the 12th time that night, when your eyeballs are hanging out of your head and your so tired that you fell asleep fully clothed. So what is the alternative?

Firstly we have a barrage of social 'hangups' that we need to put aside - like all the other helpful parenting advice or grandma who suggested you pee over draino to see if you were carrying a boy or a girl. Learn about the mechanics of sleep and attachment and why your baby is waking. If baby will only nap with you - get a sling. If cosleeping works for your family then try it. Breaastfeed to sleep if you can - nature made breastmilk just for that purpose! You are not making a rod for your back, you are gently raising a human being

Secondly accept that you are parenting a child; and your baby has only been on this planet for a very very short time. They have the rest of their lives to develop independence and resilience and they will do this so much better when they know their parents will always be there to love them unconditionally.

Thirdly - look for alternatives. So many parents are stuck with controlled crying because no one else has any other suggestions. But they do exist! Gentle sleep techniques that really work - for more details you can check out our list here. But remember when all else fails - it is only a moment in time, this too will pass so snuggle up and get the sleep where and when you can. Your child is not manipulating you and to my knowledge there aren't any 8 year olds that still need to be rocked to sleep or cuddled in a sling.

http://naturalparent.com.au/category_47/Gentle-sleeping.htm

The challenge continues...

2010-01-30T23:49:00.000+10:00

Well I have survived the first fortnight of being a full time working mum in a big city again. Although survived is a very loose term. Those things which I was most concerned about have all turned around to face me in headlong battles but we are making headway slowly.

Firstly and most importantly my cherubs, Miss A and Master X who have both found themselves in full time care for the first time ever have taught me, by far the greatest lesson yet. It only dawned on me recently - as I was struggling in the morning to have everyone dressed (including both shoes and obligatory ponies/dolls or teddy bears which must accompany us on each trip) , fed and me looking slightly less haggard then I felt; that time is such an amazingly critical factor in our lives. For something taken for granted, wasted and chased after so much in our lives - just a little of it can mean so much.

As I busily buzzed around the house one morning this week juggling lunches and lipstick I heard Miss A ask her brother to play ponies with her, to which he; at the tender age of seven replied "I'm just a little busy at the moment, I'll play later" It was then that I realised how many times in the past week or so I had said those words myself. I remember vividly being told similar words myself as I child and I vowed my children would never feel the insignificance and the frustration I felt. So I downed the tools and went and sat and played ponies, and listened to Master X recount the latest episode of Digimon to me and felt so much better. Just 10 minutes and everyone had relaxed and was smiling again. Did it really matter if I got to work on time 10 minutes later than I planned? No but it made such an amazing difference to our day.

Miss A is still struggling with the concept of daycare and the extended village care with family and friends. She is upset and acting out but at night when we snuggle into our family bed and when she wakes at night or in the morning calling out to us and we are there, I know each step is building her confidence in this new world for her.

The other challenge has, and will continue to be food - despite my best intentions, the sheer number of family BBQ's and most shamefully take way :-) has left both me and the kids often on a rollercoaster of highly strung emotions and kiddies hanging from the roof tops. I am completely over well meaning individuals asking me what my kids can eat and then grimacing with a "poor little things" look on their face just because I don't allow them to indulge in the abundance of artificially coloured, flavoured and preserved food. Or worse the rolled eyes and whithering stares when I produce alternatives which we use like magic cordial or preservative free bread. Seriously! I'm not out there to make their lives more difficult, just trying to preserve my sanity... but my resolve is weakening as the onslaught continues and more and more I'm hearing myself emit a "Oh whatever is fine" mumbling under my breath that I'll deal with the consequences later. Here's hoping for a better start to next week and a more organised and resolute me.

At work I faced the challenge of trying to keep my ideals alive and I am making progress slowly. In my induction week my heart soared when I heard about the amazing wealth of social justice programs available; educating and helping the poor and encouraging sustainability. On the coal face though I have found more hazards than I hoped for: my classroom has an overwhelming 'chemical' - new room smell that despite a week of airing has done nothing. I am also finding it hard to set up an online communication system rather than a paper one but the goal is there and we can work together. I am pleased to be able to instill in the minds of my students and perhaps their parents ideas on sustainability, environmental concern and consideration about the chemical environment we live in... but baby steps :-)

By far my most challenging concern is Where To Live. Gone are the days when my biggest concern was whether or not we had good water pressure and was there a bath tub. Now we are trying to balance community values and lifestyle, travel times and therefore the amount of time kids are spending in care and the stand out for me - chemical impact. Our current favourite, which fulfils all other requirements, has us with a highway literally in our backyard. The noise, while enough of an issue is not my biggest concern. The fact that the house is old and the building materials not the safest even I can deal with. I have even managed to come to terms with the fact that the owner decided to "self-treat"the termite infestation which left him "sick for days" - seriously... idiot use some protective clothing (shudder at what the house surfaces and surrounds are like so luckily it was 2 yrs ago). No the biggest sticking point was when my hubby and I started talking about the rainwater tanks. I am always saddened to see rainwater being wasted on gardens and flushing toilets when it is so beautiful to shower in and drink... until of course my ever thinking hubby said "Yeah but we wouldn't want to use this inside the house - think of all the grime and emissions that we will pick up from being so close to the road." BINGO - yuck my greatest adversary has me cornered in this house I love but a backyard that is full of chemical runoff and emission from the ever encroaching highway... ! Hmmm which is the lesser of the weavils????

Loving the pure stuff!

2010-01-18T21:58:00.000+10:00

I have had such an indulgent week and have found some amazing products that I wanted to share with you all. Firstly, in all the moving I managed to forget a lot of my toiletries like; make up, shampoo, conditioner etc - you know just the basic essentials for someone heading back into the workplace after three years off. But this has given me a great opportunity to try some products I have been itching to get my hands on and just haven't taken the plunge.

Make up - I was looking for a natural, mineral based foundation and got lots of wonderful suggestions from friends however I was slightly desperate and needed to pick it up that day so it discounted a lot of the online places which was a shame. I don't wear make-up often and I have been wanting to try some of these chemical free mineral foundations for such a long time. The staff at Pure Indulgence at North Lakes Shopping Centre in Brisbane were very helpful. Honest about which brands and lines were chemical free and which weren't and I walked out with a gorgeous organic moisturiser as well as my mineral foundation. Both of which are unbelievably luscious and my skin has never looked better (both with and without the makeup). It feels so good knowing that the cream I am putting onto my skin is natural and organic and it smells Divine - not with man made perfumes but with natural essential oils. What a great way to start the day.

Shampoo and Conditioner - Although I have been using safer alternatives for about a year now they do cost quite a lot so I thought I would take the opportunity to try the "no poo" hair care routine and it is really growing on me. I am still fine tuning my routine and looking at a way to "pre make" it so that I don't have to be so organised in the shower. You can find lots of great info on the web especially at this site here.

I also stumbled across this site quite a few weeks ago now and have been meaning to check it out more. Pure Earth Noosa sells a range of chemical free and organic products. I recently purchased some BPA free water bottles from them which arrived today. Beautifully packaged with a little sample of organic baby shampoo and conditioner, washing liquid and regular shampoo and conditioner, all of which smell AMAZING! I tried the shampoo and conditioner on Miss A this evening and wow - it is a gorgeous product! No tears from Miss A plus it left her hair smelling beautifully fresh and shiny and it is wonderful to know that all the ingredients are natural and organic. I was also surprised to find a little package of samples and info from a collection of businesses called Connect2mums - all in all a great shopping experience! Highly recommended.

It is great to know that chemical free living is becoming more and more achievable with these businesses supplying products that make life easier and more enjoyable.

Fed up with food

2010-01-09T23:11:00.000+10:00

Like my all-time hero, Sue Dengate, author of Fed Up and The Failsafe Cookbook; I am fed up. Not with my childrens behaviour (as in her book title) my little munchkins have been doing fabulously, but with the fact that I have to work so damn hard in this day and age to provide food for my family that isn't loaded with chemicals.

As I have written before we are doing a big move and although we have been FAILSAFE (free of additives, salicylates, amines and other food chemicals) for over a year now we decided to get back on the stricter elimination diet in the lead up to the big day. We know it makes an amazing difference to our ability to cope with change, long drives and each other in cramped conditions :-)... it's just the "doing" that has me fed up at the moment.

Being time poor with packing, cleaning and the myrid of other "things" that have to be done in the lead up to moving house it would be nice to not have to worry over meals for the family, however pick up a packet of anything today and you'll find it's loaded with so many numbers and long winded names your head will spin. How did we let things get this way! How on earth did we, as a society allow our food to be filled with so much junk and not once cry foul. The moment of true dispair came when I was re-reading Sue's book recently and found that tests were never carried out to evaluate the effects of food additives on learning and behaviour. How in an age where scientific learning is so valued and sprouted at us, espeically parents at every turn did we miss this. It makes you wonder what exactly the tests did check for, what is the passing grade for a food additive? - Doesn't cause death, blindness, seisures, so tick that one off the list and move on? If additives in our food are not being evaluated on their effects on the brain's development and learning abilities what hope have we for the other environmental chemicals we encounter every day!

There is a new resurgence out that that is focusing on eliminating food additives such as colours and MSG from food, more studies are showing that additives are effecting learning, behaviour and mood, however as quickly as one number is taken out, another one is introduced. A new name, new number... you may find me in the supermarket waiting patiently on my mobile for customer service at some food company to tell me eaxctly what colour is caramel IV today - which usually ends up being annanatto or 160(b) - one of the very nasty "natural" colours that skims through the "no artifical colours" labelling yet has my children swinging from the ceiling in an amazingly short amount of time.

The time has come for us to fight back against the war on food so that we can shop at our leisure without having to label search and interrogate customer service lines before taking home a tub of yogurt. There are many ways of effecting change but the biggest one is with your wallet and your pen (or keyboard). Email or wite to companies with additives and inform them of their error and the fact that you and your many online friends will not be purchasing their product until it is clear of garbage. In the meantime my kiddies and I will be bunkering down with our Brumbry's bread and golden syrup and feeling all the better for it.

For more info on food chemicals check here

New Years Challenge

2010-01-01T10:47:00.001+10:00

I admit, I'm not big on making New years Resolutions. I never seem to be able to remember what they are even if I do manage to set them but this year I have a New Years Challenge this year for myself.

For the past 7 years, since I started this amazing parenting journey I have been lucky enough to be living in smaller regional towns and cities away from our family and well meaning friends. Now I say luckily in one respect only because we do of course miss our families and love spending time with them. However it has been glorious to embark on our parenting journey alone so that we have had time to find our own path without the well-meaning comments and ideas of others. Now don't get me wrong I am sure there are plenty of supportive families out there, and I'm sure my own family would have been supportive as well... however I also remember the many rolled eyes and comments that demand breast feeding, sling wearing and cosleeping were simply "making a rod for our own backs". It was indeed a luxury to be able to develop our own style and grow in confidence in our parenting choices together as a unit before we needed to defend our choices to well meaning family and friends.

However now we are about to embark on a great new adventure and challenge and I am quite frankly very nervous. We are returning "home" to the big city after such a long time away and I am confronted with the challenge of how to incorporate our "natural" living lifestyle into a 2 working parents, living in a big city situation?

Am I going to be able to give the same amount of time and effort into finding chemically free foods, organic produce and keeping our home chemical free when I am working full-time. Or will I slowly fall back into past habits, will I have no other choice, given the time restrictions. And ultimately what is more important... spending what time I have with the kids or trying to achieve these other aims???

Probably my biggest fear is how I, and the rest of the family will cope with a working mummy and all that it brings, daycare, afterschool care, added work pressures and the absence of having that one person at home who is there to do all the behind the scenes things that we never really think about. I know we can do it, I know thousands of families do it and do it beautifully every day... but will I???

Another concern I have is remaining authentic. My beliefs about chemicals in the environment, being eco-friendly and maintaining relationships that promote love, confidence and self assurance are so important to me. I could talk about them all day long but... will I be able to live these in my workplace?

So my New Years Challenge, after the packing of course; is how to assimilate our country lifestyle into the big city. It's certainly going to be an interesting journey but I am looking forward to refecting on it in 12mths time. I'm sure it will involve much deliberation, trial and error but hopefully we can find that magic "balance" and keep trying to acheive a more natural lifestyle for our family.

What about you? Any tips for me? What's your New Years Challenge this year??

Avatar... more than what you think

2009-12-30T00:05:00.000+10:00

Every so often there comes along a cinematic experience, a story told that touches us on a deeper level. Beyond the graphics or the characters it reaches in and grabs a hold of human nature and shoves it in our face so we can glimpse parts of humankind's true nature. If you have had the opportunity to see the movie Avatar, from the amazing mind of James Cameron you will understand what I mean - I hope.

Although I sat awestruck by the cimemagraphics as one is wont to do in films such as these, before we were even half way through I was deeply touched by the message of the film. I think the lead female character summed it up when she said something along the lines of "You think you know it all, but you are like babies... children"

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of engaging with this film I strongly encourage you to take some time to do so and with a pg rating - I know - finally someone manages to make an engaging film without filling it with swearing, nudity, sex scenes and exposed entrails - it is even possible to take some of the older kiddies to experience it as well. I won't ruin any of the finer details but the movie in essence captures the stark reality of humankind's war against nature but it also touches on the connection creatures of the world have as an ecosystem in a much more vivid way.

Another strong message of the film that spoke to me is that moment of choice. That time in our lives where we need to choose our own path, either that of the crowd or to be the one who chooses a different path to fight against injustice. Although at the time it seems of little consequence, as we see one warrior turn against the fight and help the other side, we can also see the far reaching ripples of one persons actions and how they can change the entire course of history.

All in all it was a deeply thought provoking, inspirational film that I am desperate to see again. It provides all us hard working parents with the opportunity for a little escapism while stretching our minds onto that great philosophical plain and reminding us that we can all be the eco warrior we want to be cause it might just be our little action to turn and fight the injustice that sways the balance of history.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone could experience this film and walk out with their eyes opened a little more the the stark reality of the war we are engaged in on our own planet and the raping of our own forests; the native peoples and the ancient knowledge we are losing.

The taboo topic

2009-12-28T21:11:00.000+10:00

Here is a sample of the gorgeous product available at TwinkleLily

Well I just had a great time shopping over at Twinkle Lily's store at The Cloth Pad Shop, now that my Miss A is out of nappies it is the only fluffy mail I get to indulge in. Thought I would share the link with my Facebook world and found myself pausing. I remembered how close minded I was to the thought of reusable menstrual products before I used them and I was seriously debating whether or not I was brave enough to post out there to the whole world that, "Yes I use cloth menstrual products and no it's not gross!"

I remember when I first heard about them and I think I cyberly blushed listening to the other women in the chat room talk about menstrual products so openly. It took me a good couple of months before the guilt of using disposables on myself while sprouting how awesome cloth was for my daughter and how bad disposable products were for the environment had me investigating this whole "cloth pad" thing.

I started reading up on all the benefits of cloth or reusable menstrual products and found myself getting very curious. If we think about how many pad and tampons we use each month and the number of cycles we have in our lifetime we end up with a mountain of waste that is sitting in landfills for our childrens', children's grandchildren to deal with. On top of that I was reading about the chemicals used in these products, just like in disposables that I was allowing to absorb into my skin. How could I realistically tell my friends how bad disposable nappies were for my bub when I was happy to absorb those chemicals myself and transmit them through my breastmilk!

Then there were the other benefits like shorter cycle lengths, lighter flow, less pain and symptoms associated with our periods. I figured... I would give it a go. At least so I could say that I gave it a go and it wasn't for me. So I went shopping and it was so much fun! Different fabrics, styles and sizes, had me looking forward to my period for the first time in my life.

Well as you can tell from the beginning of this story my trial of reusable menstrual products was a flying success. I love them! And I can honestly say that the reported benefits are true! Save money, save the earth and save yourself from the monthly agony we put ourselves through despising this time of our life when we should embrace it!

By using reusable menstrual products such as the cup and cloth pads my mindset has completely changed and my monthly cycle comes and goes without the dread and discomfort I was used to but with almost ... celebration?

So in the end, I did end up sharing with my facebook friends this great choice I have made as I think it is so important for more women to know about the choice they have out there and that we don't need to hide ourselves away with discrete packaging each month but embrace our womanhood and celebrate but most of all, share with our daughters and friends the options available to them.

You can check out more info on cloth pads and reusable menstraul products here

Simplicity in the bag

2009-12-21T20:55:00.000+10:00

I have a secret to confess. I am in love with a delicate white powder... It gives me quite a zing, cheaply bought at any corner store and makes me feel like I can do anything. LOL yes the natural mama's drug of choice - bicarb. Also known as bicarbonate of soda, baking soda (US) bread soda (US), sodium bicarbonate, saleratus or sodium hydrogen carbonate.

Like many of you I stumbled across the benfits of cleaning with bicarb a few month ago and have been enjoying the simplicity of cleaning not to mention the finacial savings over the bottles and boxes of chemicals I used to spend money on. But yesterday I was overjoyed to find this beautiful book in a regular bookstore - yep not a hippy, tree hugging store but boring old QBD.

The book is aptly named "Bicarbonate of Soda - Expert Advice" written by Diane Sutherland, Jon Sutherland, Liz Keevil and Kevin Eyres and is filled with 189 pages of practical uses for this inexpensive powerful powder. The Introduction to the book says

"If you could find a naturally occuring product that you could use as a deodorant, a toothpaste, an exfoliant and an antiseptic, you'd be impressed. If you found out that you could use the same substance in the kitchen to make a big improvement to many of your favourite dishes and then use it to clean out your pots and pans, leaving them greese free and shining you'd be amazed. And if you were told that exactly the same product could be used to shampoo your pets, clean out your swimming pool, kill cockroaches and relieve insect bites and stings, you'd probably just laugh. Well there us just such a product, it's been around for thousands of years in one form or another and you can buy it today for pennies."

It's such a great little reference guide that is stretching my already high regard for bicarb to unheard of levels - even my mother agrees, which is saying something; the tell tale roll of the eyes when I suggested that I only wash my nappies in bicarb has been replaced with a suggestion she might just get herself some bicarb when she gets home.

The thing I love most about using bicarb, apart from the significant money saving is how comfortable I am with using it in the house. Probably one of the scariest things I realised when I started learning about chemicals in the home is the residues and fumes that we expose ourselves to daily in our domestic goddess duties. If you have a child like my Miss A who loves to help mum then you will understand my concern! Now I feel much more at peace with letting her help with the washing and cleaning knowing that the only thing touching her skin and going in her mouth (as she inevitably will put her fingers in her mouth or eyes) is water and bicarb: nothing worse then what she would get if we were baking a cake.

If you would like to read more about chemicals in the home - you can have a quick look here
And I would love to hear about your bicarb stories and recipes here or on our forum

Welcome to Natural Parents Blog - Natural Intentions

2009-12-18T18:48:00.000+10:00

Hi, and welcome to the blog of Natural Parent www.naturalparent.com.au written by me, Sarah, the creator and idealist behind the website.

Natural Parent is the fruition of a dream of mine to share information with families and give them access to an online directory and community which is tailored to natural, gentle and eco-friendly parenting and living choices.

I am by no means an eco-mother-godess, I am struggling and learning just like everyone else and I pick and choose elements of attachment, gentle and natural parenting that suit me and my family and we do the best we can. So this blog I guess is a glimpse into the ever changing often chaotic life of me and my family as we attempt to live naturally in a modern day society and juggle the usual family pressures, a child with special needs and the dream to share natural parenting info with the global community.

I look forward to journeying with you and hope to see you joining in here and at the online community at www.naturalparent.com.au