A Dad’s silence can be deafening
Readers be advised - this article contains Christian content
Allow me to start off by saying that I love my father. In all that I have done, in all that I do, and in all that I plan to do, my desire has been, and is to always honour him. It’s been 5 years now since he passed away, and yet even today there is still a deep longing in my heart to really know him.
My Dad faced a number of demons in his far too short life of just under 54 years. Firstly, at the tender age of 6 years, he lost his sister to a hit & run motor vehicle accident. He always blamed himself for her death, and no-one other than I, ever told him differently. His own father was the town drunk, and my Dad hated him for it. My Dad very early on vowed to work hard to be the best at what he did, and he achieved just that. It was there he felt his strongest… on a construction site… and so that’s where he spent most of his time. When he was home, he drank to numb the pain of his past. In the end his liver ceased to function, he slipped into a coma, and died.
I never really knew my Dad, but I do believe he did the very best he could with what he had. Even his best intentions though were not nearly enough. I needed to hear from him that he loved me, and that he was proud of me. Whilst I knew in my mind that he was proud of me, he never ever verbalised it. And whilst I knew in my mind that he loved me, it was only 3 weeks before his death that he told me so, and not without some significant coaching from me first, might I add. After his passing, I was charged with the responsibility of being the executor of his estate. Even as I was sorting through all of his personal and business paperwork and belongings etc., I was secretly hoping to stumble across an envelope with my name on it… desperately hoping to hear something more from my Dad. I found no such note. In fact the most personal belonging I have of his is his old reading glasses.
My story and my relationship with my father are not so different to that of many other men and women around the world. So why is it that I say “a Dad’s silence can be deafening”? I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “as wise as Solomon”. Well the “Solomon” referred to in this phrase is actually King Solomon, dating back to over 900 B.C. Much of his wisdom is available to us today in what we know as the book of Proverbs, and one of those ancient proverbs says this… “the glory of children are their fathers”. Another word for “glory” here is “weight”, and my question to all of the Dads reading this article is this… “What kind of weight are you for your child?” Are you a weight that anchors your kids when the storms of life begin to blow, or are you the kind of weight that is actually sinking them? Another one of Solomon’s proverbs says this, “The tongue has the power of life and death”. Do you see the kind of influence that we as Dads have on the lives of our children?
So yes, the phrase “Silence is golden” sometimes applies, however in most cases, our silence, our passivity, and our apathy as fathers is actually unknowingly critically wounding our children. Our words, and more often than not, the lack thereof, have the power to bestow LIFE upon our children. Be sure to tell them that you love them, be sure to tell them that you’re proud of them, be sure to notice them and the specific things they do well, and then be sure to affirm them in those things. Perhaps you do all of those things already. Try doing it publicly during a special birthday celebration, or rite-of-passage ceremony. You’ll be glad you did, and you’ll be modelling intentional life-giving fathering to others in the process.
Yours for offering LIFE to our children,
written by Darren Lewis, Fathering Adventures.
Darren has been married to his beautiful wife Melissa for 18 years, and is father to his four courageous sons, ranging in age from 15 years to 6 years. Darren has not given up on his desire to live life to the full.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Importance of the Outdoors in Raising Children
This morning I posed a very simple question to my sons that resulted in some very interesting responses and lengthy conversation. “What are your all-time favourite experiences / memories?” Immediately their answers began to flow like a river in flood. Visits to theme parks, the beach, camping, and the first time ever riding a motorbike. One’s memories would spark another’s. One common theme was that all of their favourite experiences involved the outdoors. Another common theme was that I had been present. Perhaps if I hadn’t, my kids’ favourite memories may have been very different.
Introducing your son into the great outdoors is an essential part of his development, and you don’t have to be a hunter or extreme adventurer to lead him there. Simply provide him with terrain to explore, rivers to fish, and adventures to live and enjoy e.g. rafting and swimming. The outdoors will provide countless opportunities of calling forth daring and courage, and will undoubtedly provide the testing and challenging necessary to initiate him along his masculine journey.
When my eldest son Brandon turned 13, I invited him into a vision quest… a journey of sorts with me by his side, together navigating through the obstacles a boy encounters as he makes his transition into young manhood. One of our first experiences together was dubbed his “beloved son” weekend. I wanted him to know that I delighted in him and absolutely loved being with him. The destination I decided upon was Jourama Falls… a series of waterfalls that cascade down the side of a mountain here in N.Q. We would swim in a waterhole and check it’s depth before climbing up to the next waterhole above. We repeated this about four or five times before beginning our descent… leaping off the top of each waterfall into the waterhole below. I knew we would have fun, but what I hadn’t counted on, perhaps naively, was that fear would present itself. What an unexpected opportunity for Dad to dig deep into the soul of his son… to question his thought processes, and to guide and coach him. To play my part in helping him to examine and overcome his fears was priceless, and a memory that both he and I will treasure for a lifetime.
Another weekend that formed part of Brandon’s vision quest was dubbed his “community of men” weekend. Four of my good friends and I invited Brandon into our community of men for the weekend, where we demonstrated how real men have fun. We went white-water rafting and we hiked to the summit of a mountain. Of course the white-water rafting was a blast, but my biggest shock came during the hike. My son was a very capable long-distance runner, so I thought the hike for him would be just a stroll in the park. About one-third of our way in, Brandon stopped and stated that he was unable to continue. We were all able to speak into his life at that moment, reminding him that we all believed in his ability to push on and reach the summit, and that we would help him get there. He pressed on and was the second of our party to reach the summit. We asked him if it had been worth it, and as he surveyed the 360 degree unobstructed views below him, he responded with a resounding “Yes”. I warned him that there would be times in the future... at school and during marriage etc., when he would feel like quitting. I instructed him to remember this moment on the mountaintop… to remember the taste of accomplishing something he didn’t think he could.
I remain committed to my role as father of my four sons, committed to pursuing a deeper relationship with each of them, committed to providing them with a wide variety of outdoor experiences, committed to modelling authentic masculinity to them, and committed to one day leaving a legacy of four great, society-contributing men who will live on to offer even more to their families. Be sure too to ask your children what their all-time favourite experiences / memories are. It will provide you with the clues you need to truly know your child’s heart
Yours for getting the kids outdoors
written by Darren Lewis.
Fathering Adventures
Introducing your son into the great outdoors is an essential part of his development, and you don’t have to be a hunter or extreme adventurer to lead him there. Simply provide him with terrain to explore, rivers to fish, and adventures to live and enjoy e.g. rafting and swimming. The outdoors will provide countless opportunities of calling forth daring and courage, and will undoubtedly provide the testing and challenging necessary to initiate him along his masculine journey.
When my eldest son Brandon turned 13, I invited him into a vision quest… a journey of sorts with me by his side, together navigating through the obstacles a boy encounters as he makes his transition into young manhood. One of our first experiences together was dubbed his “beloved son” weekend. I wanted him to know that I delighted in him and absolutely loved being with him. The destination I decided upon was Jourama Falls… a series of waterfalls that cascade down the side of a mountain here in N.Q. We would swim in a waterhole and check it’s depth before climbing up to the next waterhole above. We repeated this about four or five times before beginning our descent… leaping off the top of each waterfall into the waterhole below. I knew we would have fun, but what I hadn’t counted on, perhaps naively, was that fear would present itself. What an unexpected opportunity for Dad to dig deep into the soul of his son… to question his thought processes, and to guide and coach him. To play my part in helping him to examine and overcome his fears was priceless, and a memory that both he and I will treasure for a lifetime.
Another weekend that formed part of Brandon’s vision quest was dubbed his “community of men” weekend. Four of my good friends and I invited Brandon into our community of men for the weekend, where we demonstrated how real men have fun. We went white-water rafting and we hiked to the summit of a mountain. Of course the white-water rafting was a blast, but my biggest shock came during the hike. My son was a very capable long-distance runner, so I thought the hike for him would be just a stroll in the park. About one-third of our way in, Brandon stopped and stated that he was unable to continue. We were all able to speak into his life at that moment, reminding him that we all believed in his ability to push on and reach the summit, and that we would help him get there. He pressed on and was the second of our party to reach the summit. We asked him if it had been worth it, and as he surveyed the 360 degree unobstructed views below him, he responded with a resounding “Yes”. I warned him that there would be times in the future... at school and during marriage etc., when he would feel like quitting. I instructed him to remember this moment on the mountaintop… to remember the taste of accomplishing something he didn’t think he could.
I remain committed to my role as father of my four sons, committed to pursuing a deeper relationship with each of them, committed to providing them with a wide variety of outdoor experiences, committed to modelling authentic masculinity to them, and committed to one day leaving a legacy of four great, society-contributing men who will live on to offer even more to their families. Be sure too to ask your children what their all-time favourite experiences / memories are. It will provide you with the clues you need to truly know your child’s heart
Yours for getting the kids outdoors
written by Darren Lewis.
Fathering Adventures
Friday, January 6, 2012
We do have a choice
We do have a choice after all!
For the past twenty years I thought the only choice I had was between Stayfree and Libra. But recently my eyes have been opened to a new choice in menstrual products.
It was after I converted to cloth nappies for my youngest child and I stumbled across cloth menstrual pads on an online shop. At first the idea made me shudder but then month after month I wondered why I was spending a fortune on disposable products that only added to the landfill and environmental concerns that saw us switch to cloth nappies. It took another few months and lots of online reading until I convinced myself to at least try; after all if I was happy to put my daughters bot in cloth, shouldn’t I at least have a valid opinion on my own bot in cloth.
So online I went and I was bedazzled by the array of types, sizes and fabrics – not to mention pretty colours and ended up with the beginning of my very own cloth stash. I hid them away and made my husband swear he would not ever ask nor investigate what was in the ice-cream container in the laundry sink – aka my cloth pad soaking bucket. Although the initial thoughts of soaking and cleaning pads put me off, I found that they washed up fine. And the soaking and washing was really no different to cleaning nappies. I started washing them with the nappies and now I simply run them under water before putting them in the nappy bucket to soak.
After my first trial of cloth pads I was sold, which prompted another online shopping binge. I knew what I liked now and what fabrics worked best for me. I actually found myself looking forward to that dreaded time of the month so I could try out my new “fluffy mail”. It wasn’t long after that I stumbled across the menstrual cup. More googling ensued and I thought I would give this a try too. Tampons and me did not get along well, if the cup worked any better than them I would be happy.
The menstrual cup changed the way I viewed my period from the first month onwards. I literally cannot tell that I have my period, it doesn’t even cross my mind. So easy and carefree to use and so comfortable I could forget it was even there. The cup used with a nice trim liner and I feel 100% confident every day of my cycle and I will never look back. The cup decreased the washing and soaking and also helped on the very heavy days when wearing cloth pads meant frequent changes or bulky pads. It also made it easier to use cloth at work as I don’t have to worry about changing pads during the day. The cup will easily get me through a work day before it needs emptying and on heavy days it is a simple process of emptying and wiping it out before reinserting.
In my initial research into reusable products I found a lot of links to decreased period pain, shorter cycles and other benefits. It sounded good but I couldn’t see the link. After a year and a half of using cloth and reusable products I can honestly attest that my normal cycle has changed from a minimum of 5-7 heavy days to 3-4 light days. Cramping and other menstrual symptoms have decreased most months to a point where I don’t even need pain relief, this from a point where I wanted to curl up and die for the first two days on heavy pain relief. The monetary savings have been huge also – a minimum of $30+ a month normally spent of pads, night pads and tampons. But by far the best bit is picking which pretty pad or colourful cup I want to use next time good old aunt flo comes to visit.
I can also hold my head up higher knowing that the choice of cloth for my daughter was also good enough for me and even better, I know now when my daughter comes of age, I can offer her a choice I didn’t know existed; not just between Stayfree and Libra but putting her health and wellbeing as well as the planet first!
Check out these great sites for more info
Cloth pad shop
Twinkle lily
Your Cheeky Monkey
Lunette
Noonee Wilga
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Pregnancy - The good the bad and the ugly
Pregnancy is an exciting and wonderous time in a persons life and while many woman find themselves feeling radiant and healthy many others run into many common pregnancy ailments. Presented in this article are some tips and tricks for keeping fit and healthy during your pregnancy. Please note that this article DOES NOT provide medical advice, it is a summary of the experiences of other women. Please see your doctor if you are concerned at any time during your pregnancy.
tiredness and fatigue - Most woman find themselves feeling tired and fatigued in the first trimester and at the end of the third. It is important to remember that the body is undergoing immense changes during the entire pregnancy and these changes require more from your body. Tiredness and fatigue is a sign that you need to slow down a bit and rest when you need it.
morning sickness - No one is quite sure what triggers morning sickness in some woman and not others, nor why some woman experience it for the first 12 weeks and others for their entire pregnancy. Morning sickness can strike at any time of the day or night and can range from mild nausea to dry retching and vomitting. There is a more serious form of morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum which is chacterised by very persistant vomitting (20-30 times a day) dehydrating and loss of 10-20% of a person body weight. If you believe you are suffering from extreme morning sickness or dehydration it is important to speak to a doctor.
There are plenty of old wives tales for dealing with morning sickness however a lot of mothers find they do actually work. Some might work better for others and you might need to try a combination, even changing tactics as your pregnancy progresses.
ginger - ginger tea, ginger biscuits, ginger beer even
sea sickness pressure wrist bands - available at most chemists
having something to eat before getting out of bed - try keep a packet of water crackers in your drawer
peppermint - peppermint tea can be especially soothing, even peppermint lifesavers (my personal choice)
water - the more water you drink though out the day and night the less sick you are likely to feel in the morning
potato chips - not ideal for your waistline but a lot of woman report feeling better after eating potato whether it be mash or the crisps variety
don't let yourself get hungry - hard I know when you feel nauseous but try to find a food that doesn't immediately make you want to vomit and snack on that. Dry trail mix and biscuits can be good to keep on hand.
varicose veins - These babies can rear their ugly heads in places you never expected - and people never told you about. Try and stay off your feet if they become a problem and keep the area elevated at night while you sleep if possible. You can also try witch hazel; available from some pharmacies or health food shops 100% undiluted witch hazel applied with cotton wool balls at night and then elevated can help to reduce varicose veins. Witch hazel is also helpful to treat those varicose veins on our nether regions - also known as haemeroids.
aches and pains - As your pregnancy progresses your uterus grows at an enoumous rate and the extra weight of the baby combined with the effect of relaxin on your joints can lead to losts of sore and tired spots. In addition, the demand for calcium and magnisium in your body can lead to painful cramps especially at night. Exercise is good to stretch aching muslces and joints but don't overstretch or try lifting heavy things you might find yourself a lot worse off the next morning. Take a good quality supplement of calcium and magnesium and you might want to consider seeing some allied health professionals or natural therapists to help such as physio, chiropractor, acupuncturist etc.
tiredness and fatigue - Most woman find themselves feeling tired and fatigued in the first trimester and at the end of the third. It is important to remember that the body is undergoing immense changes during the entire pregnancy and these changes require more from your body. Tiredness and fatigue is a sign that you need to slow down a bit and rest when you need it.
morning sickness - No one is quite sure what triggers morning sickness in some woman and not others, nor why some woman experience it for the first 12 weeks and others for their entire pregnancy. Morning sickness can strike at any time of the day or night and can range from mild nausea to dry retching and vomitting. There is a more serious form of morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum which is chacterised by very persistant vomitting (20-30 times a day) dehydrating and loss of 10-20% of a person body weight. If you believe you are suffering from extreme morning sickness or dehydration it is important to speak to a doctor.
There are plenty of old wives tales for dealing with morning sickness however a lot of mothers find they do actually work. Some might work better for others and you might need to try a combination, even changing tactics as your pregnancy progresses.
ginger - ginger tea, ginger biscuits, ginger beer even
sea sickness pressure wrist bands - available at most chemists
having something to eat before getting out of bed - try keep a packet of water crackers in your drawer
peppermint - peppermint tea can be especially soothing, even peppermint lifesavers (my personal choice)
water - the more water you drink though out the day and night the less sick you are likely to feel in the morning
potato chips - not ideal for your waistline but a lot of woman report feeling better after eating potato whether it be mash or the crisps variety
don't let yourself get hungry - hard I know when you feel nauseous but try to find a food that doesn't immediately make you want to vomit and snack on that. Dry trail mix and biscuits can be good to keep on hand.
varicose veins - These babies can rear their ugly heads in places you never expected - and people never told you about. Try and stay off your feet if they become a problem and keep the area elevated at night while you sleep if possible. You can also try witch hazel; available from some pharmacies or health food shops 100% undiluted witch hazel applied with cotton wool balls at night and then elevated can help to reduce varicose veins. Witch hazel is also helpful to treat those varicose veins on our nether regions - also known as haemeroids.
aches and pains - As your pregnancy progresses your uterus grows at an enoumous rate and the extra weight of the baby combined with the effect of relaxin on your joints can lead to losts of sore and tired spots. In addition, the demand for calcium and magnisium in your body can lead to painful cramps especially at night. Exercise is good to stretch aching muslces and joints but don't overstretch or try lifting heavy things you might find yourself a lot worse off the next morning. Take a good quality supplement of calcium and magnesium and you might want to consider seeing some allied health professionals or natural therapists to help such as physio, chiropractor, acupuncturist etc.
Power of Birth
I have been wanting to write some informative articles on birth and birth choices for a while but I just haven’t had the chance to gather all the information I can to write something that is complete. In the interim here is a wishy washy couple of paragraphs that I have put together myself to try and hint at my experiences and feelings about birth.
No event in my life has filled me with such awe and inspiration as giving birth to my children. As I reflect on the experience of my first birth, I am still amazed at how when left alone my instincts took over so naturally, leaving me in what is affectionately called “the zone” a deeply relaxed, focused place in my mind where my body looked after itself and my mind was away on some deeper primeval thinking.
My birth itself was not entirely “natural” – whatever that means. But it still left me elated with what my body was capable of doing. Not only had it made another human being (with the help of my partner of course) but I had nurtured this baby inside my own body and then birthed my child - safe and well.
What occurred to me after my birth was the way we treat labour and birth these days. It is medicalised and distant. Something to be seen as an accomplishment if you can do it. A lot of natural birth advocates put pressure on woman to feel they have to attempt a natural birth however I think that the real way around the current birthing traditions and issues is to challenge the way labour and birth are visualised and treated.
I remember reading about the “cascade of interventions” – not sure where I read it first but it seems to be everywhere now. Where one medical intervention leads to more and more until one ends up hooked up to machinery with an epidural because the induced labour lying on your back is too painful which causes non-progression and a c-sec. I am sad to say that I have watched friends of mine travel this road and what do you say to them when they ring and tell you they are please to announce the birth of their child which had to be done via c-sec after a 32 hr induced labour? I told you so?
The knowledge we need to be sharing with woman is that the strength is there. Their body CAN and WILL do this. All the knowledge of positions and natural birthing aides fades away when a doctor in a white coat tells you your labour is not progressing, your pelvis is too small, the baby is too big, the baby is stuck, the baby is in distress, your are overdue and putting your baby at risk – WHOA MUMMA! The pressure of having this highly educated person before you telling you that you have failed at birthing is immense... Yet when we look at it, it’s not really their fault either. They are, as far as they know, doing their job. Their job is to ensure the safe delivery of your baby. To me it’s kind of like when you are looking after someone else’s child. How many times do you do something differently because it’s not just your child in the car. Games that are played, things you allow them to do, how carefully you drive home: more carefully than usual because this is someone else’s baby!
It’s a shame then that more doctors aren’t comfortable with the birthing process. That they themselves are taught that birth is a medical procedure which needs to be managed. There are set time limits for things, procedures to follow – if B doesn’t follow A after 24 hrs then do C.
It’s also a shame that more women don’t get to see other women birth. To participate and observe what takes place in the many variations of a vaginal birth. They don’t learn over the years the many secrets of helping a stalled labour, they don’t absorb the centuries of information women before us stored to assist in labour in birth.
But the good news is that this information is there. It might be in the form of friends and family who have a birth story to share, a good book to read, natural therapists who can talk with you about therapies to try in labour. There are also a growing number of women and men out there who gather this information and attend births as midwives and doulas, who can share the knowledge and the confidence in your bodies ability to do what it has been made to do and will share the journey of birth with you. There is so much joy and amazement shared in our pregnancy, our job is to make the birth just as joyous and amazing.
Sara Birt from Doula Birth has made an amazing video clip from births she has attended and I have attached it here with her permission.
No event in my life has filled me with such awe and inspiration as giving birth to my children. As I reflect on the experience of my first birth, I am still amazed at how when left alone my instincts took over so naturally, leaving me in what is affectionately called “the zone” a deeply relaxed, focused place in my mind where my body looked after itself and my mind was away on some deeper primeval thinking.
My birth itself was not entirely “natural” – whatever that means. But it still left me elated with what my body was capable of doing. Not only had it made another human being (with the help of my partner of course) but I had nurtured this baby inside my own body and then birthed my child - safe and well.
What occurred to me after my birth was the way we treat labour and birth these days. It is medicalised and distant. Something to be seen as an accomplishment if you can do it. A lot of natural birth advocates put pressure on woman to feel they have to attempt a natural birth however I think that the real way around the current birthing traditions and issues is to challenge the way labour and birth are visualised and treated.
I remember reading about the “cascade of interventions” – not sure where I read it first but it seems to be everywhere now. Where one medical intervention leads to more and more until one ends up hooked up to machinery with an epidural because the induced labour lying on your back is too painful which causes non-progression and a c-sec. I am sad to say that I have watched friends of mine travel this road and what do you say to them when they ring and tell you they are please to announce the birth of their child which had to be done via c-sec after a 32 hr induced labour? I told you so?
The knowledge we need to be sharing with woman is that the strength is there. Their body CAN and WILL do this. All the knowledge of positions and natural birthing aides fades away when a doctor in a white coat tells you your labour is not progressing, your pelvis is too small, the baby is too big, the baby is stuck, the baby is in distress, your are overdue and putting your baby at risk – WHOA MUMMA! The pressure of having this highly educated person before you telling you that you have failed at birthing is immense... Yet when we look at it, it’s not really their fault either. They are, as far as they know, doing their job. Their job is to ensure the safe delivery of your baby. To me it’s kind of like when you are looking after someone else’s child. How many times do you do something differently because it’s not just your child in the car. Games that are played, things you allow them to do, how carefully you drive home: more carefully than usual because this is someone else’s baby!
It’s a shame then that more doctors aren’t comfortable with the birthing process. That they themselves are taught that birth is a medical procedure which needs to be managed. There are set time limits for things, procedures to follow – if B doesn’t follow A after 24 hrs then do C.
It’s also a shame that more women don’t get to see other women birth. To participate and observe what takes place in the many variations of a vaginal birth. They don’t learn over the years the many secrets of helping a stalled labour, they don’t absorb the centuries of information women before us stored to assist in labour in birth.
But the good news is that this information is there. It might be in the form of friends and family who have a birth story to share, a good book to read, natural therapists who can talk with you about therapies to try in labour. There are also a growing number of women and men out there who gather this information and attend births as midwives and doulas, who can share the knowledge and the confidence in your bodies ability to do what it has been made to do and will share the journey of birth with you. There is so much joy and amazement shared in our pregnancy, our job is to make the birth just as joyous and amazing.
Sara Birt from Doula Birth has made an amazing video clip from births she has attended and I have attached it here with her permission.
Vaccination: To jab or not to jab
Fairly soon after you become a parent you will face the decision regarding immunisation. For many it is a straightforward “yes” for others it is a definite “no”; but for most of us it is an agonising decision made more difficult by propaganda on both sides of the argument.
What is important to recognise is that parents on both sides of the fence and even proponents on both sides of the argument are fighting for the same thing, healthy kids and families. The difference lies in each families unique risk factors, personal beliefs and living choices and ultimately what they perceive as the biggest risk.
The pro-vax team has certainly a lot of pro’s on it’s side. No one can argue that vaccinations have saved many hundreds of thousands of lives since they were first used to protect against small pox in 1796. Immunisation programs have prevented many debilitating and disfiguring consequences of some contagious diseases and they have saved the economy a fortune in not having to care for the sick and maimed. However, now in the 21st century we have reached a point where people living in 1st world countries are reconsidering the benefits of vaccination? Why?
Thos who choose not to vaccinate also have some very good arguments on their side. They question the necessity of assailing a newborns immune system with a vigorous series of injected foreign bodies and chemicals, bypassing the bodies natural systems of disease defence. They also question the inclusion of many dangerous chemical compounds included in the vaccinations again, injected directly into a babies internal environment and they are also worried about the effect of the combination of so many vaccinations being given in such a short period of time and the accumulative effect this may be having on the bodies systems into the future. There is much anecdotal evidence that suggests that parents feel immunisations have contributed children’s conditions including autoimmune disease and autism.
As it seems that more and more families are questioning the issue of vaccination we do need to turn our attention to why? Is it possible that the vaccination schedule has gone too far? Is it similar to food additives where we have just kept adding and adding and not really thought through the consequences of our combined actions? Or is it simply a case of modern day parents not being exposed to the horrors of these diseases so we don’t recognise the importance of the life saving vaccines.
We have done up two lists which show the concerns of both parties and some options that available to parents these days.
Options for parents
Firstly find a GP who you can talk to honestly and openly about your concerns. They should be able to supply you with more information about side –effects and risk factors that apply to your family and area. If your GP makes you feel stupid for asking these questions – find a new one! There are going to be plenty more questions in your parenting journey and you deserve a professional who isn’t offended or put out by intelligent families asking questions.
Breastfeed. One thing formula can not do is continue the transfer of IG antibodies which began in the womb across the placenta and protected your baby from birth. Breastmilk contins both IgG and IgA antibodies which assist in fighting infection and developing the babies own immune response. In addition to this breastmilk is also believed to assist in development of gut flora which assists in preventing diseases such as E.Coli and rotavirus. Breastfeeding organisations are continuously publishing data that supports the idea that breastfeeding assists in development of many vital parts of the complex immune response in babies. If breastfeeding is not an option for you consider the use of expressed milk, either your own or in some areas that from a milk bank or donor.
Look at the current vaccination schedule in your area and consider delaying or spacing out vaccines. Sometimes this is applicable, particularly for families who don’t have children in care or at school and who babywear (which prevents exposure to a lot of pathogens). Talk to your dr about which diseases your family is more at risk for in your situation. Eg – whooping cough is particularly rampant at the moment.
Investigate the possibility of separate vaccinations rather than three in ones and don’t worry about the “professionals” who tell you that you are causing your baby more pain by giving them more needles – think long term.
Homeopathic remedies offer some protection from contagious diseases but discuss this thoroughly with a trained and certified homeopath as they work differently to the way conventional vaccines work.
Selectively vaccinate against diseases that you feel are worth the risk and remember your children can always obtain missed vaccinations later in life.
Basic hygiene. Wash hands, throw tissues in the bin, stay away from people who are sick. BUT remember we are building a healthy immune system which NEEDS to be exposed to bacteria and viruses to develop. Being overly clean and and hand sanitizers and antibacterial washes can actually harm the bodies natural defenses making it easier to contract some diseases, skin infections and develop allergies.
Clean out the rest of your life. Getting rid of chemicals in the home and food can give your body the ability to fight diseases more effectively.
Remember to keep sick kids at home, whether you vaccinate or not. Many contagious diseases are only contagious in the first few days before the more obvious symptoms develop and there are many in our communities who CANNOT vaccinate or who have lowered immunity.
Dispelling the myths
You are still entitled to benefits such as child care benefits and family tax benefit if your child is not immunised but you will need to fill out a conscientious objection form and have it signed by a doctor.
Vaccines offer protection from some preventable diseases however they are not infallible. Some vaccines have lower conversion rates meaning not every person immunised will go on to develop immunity. Also some vaccines only protect against certain strains of the disease. Immunity can wear off – remember to have your titres checked via blood test if you are concerned.
There has not, to date been a reliable study that proves vaccines are linked to developing conditions such as autism and autoimmune disorders, however it is a regularly reported coincidence by parents with children with these conditions.
What is important to recognise is that parents on both sides of the fence and even proponents on both sides of the argument are fighting for the same thing, healthy kids and families. The difference lies in each families unique risk factors, personal beliefs and living choices and ultimately what they perceive as the biggest risk.
The pro-vax team has certainly a lot of pro’s on it’s side. No one can argue that vaccinations have saved many hundreds of thousands of lives since they were first used to protect against small pox in 1796. Immunisation programs have prevented many debilitating and disfiguring consequences of some contagious diseases and they have saved the economy a fortune in not having to care for the sick and maimed. However, now in the 21st century we have reached a point where people living in 1st world countries are reconsidering the benefits of vaccination? Why?
Thos who choose not to vaccinate also have some very good arguments on their side. They question the necessity of assailing a newborns immune system with a vigorous series of injected foreign bodies and chemicals, bypassing the bodies natural systems of disease defence. They also question the inclusion of many dangerous chemical compounds included in the vaccinations again, injected directly into a babies internal environment and they are also worried about the effect of the combination of so many vaccinations being given in such a short period of time and the accumulative effect this may be having on the bodies systems into the future. There is much anecdotal evidence that suggests that parents feel immunisations have contributed children’s conditions including autoimmune disease and autism.
As it seems that more and more families are questioning the issue of vaccination we do need to turn our attention to why? Is it possible that the vaccination schedule has gone too far? Is it similar to food additives where we have just kept adding and adding and not really thought through the consequences of our combined actions? Or is it simply a case of modern day parents not being exposed to the horrors of these diseases so we don’t recognise the importance of the life saving vaccines.
We have done up two lists which show the concerns of both parties and some options that available to parents these days.
Options for parents
Firstly find a GP who you can talk to honestly and openly about your concerns. They should be able to supply you with more information about side –effects and risk factors that apply to your family and area. If your GP makes you feel stupid for asking these questions – find a new one! There are going to be plenty more questions in your parenting journey and you deserve a professional who isn’t offended or put out by intelligent families asking questions.
Breastfeed. One thing formula can not do is continue the transfer of IG antibodies which began in the womb across the placenta and protected your baby from birth. Breastmilk contins both IgG and IgA antibodies which assist in fighting infection and developing the babies own immune response. In addition to this breastmilk is also believed to assist in development of gut flora which assists in preventing diseases such as E.Coli and rotavirus. Breastfeeding organisations are continuously publishing data that supports the idea that breastfeeding assists in development of many vital parts of the complex immune response in babies. If breastfeeding is not an option for you consider the use of expressed milk, either your own or in some areas that from a milk bank or donor.
Look at the current vaccination schedule in your area and consider delaying or spacing out vaccines. Sometimes this is applicable, particularly for families who don’t have children in care or at school and who babywear (which prevents exposure to a lot of pathogens). Talk to your dr about which diseases your family is more at risk for in your situation. Eg – whooping cough is particularly rampant at the moment.
Investigate the possibility of separate vaccinations rather than three in ones and don’t worry about the “professionals” who tell you that you are causing your baby more pain by giving them more needles – think long term.
Homeopathic remedies offer some protection from contagious diseases but discuss this thoroughly with a trained and certified homeopath as they work differently to the way conventional vaccines work.
Selectively vaccinate against diseases that you feel are worth the risk and remember your children can always obtain missed vaccinations later in life.
Basic hygiene. Wash hands, throw tissues in the bin, stay away from people who are sick. BUT remember we are building a healthy immune system which NEEDS to be exposed to bacteria and viruses to develop. Being overly clean and and hand sanitizers and antibacterial washes can actually harm the bodies natural defenses making it easier to contract some diseases, skin infections and develop allergies.
Clean out the rest of your life. Getting rid of chemicals in the home and food can give your body the ability to fight diseases more effectively.
Remember to keep sick kids at home, whether you vaccinate or not. Many contagious diseases are only contagious in the first few days before the more obvious symptoms develop and there are many in our communities who CANNOT vaccinate or who have lowered immunity.
Dispelling the myths
You are still entitled to benefits such as child care benefits and family tax benefit if your child is not immunised but you will need to fill out a conscientious objection form and have it signed by a doctor.
Vaccines offer protection from some preventable diseases however they are not infallible. Some vaccines have lower conversion rates meaning not every person immunised will go on to develop immunity. Also some vaccines only protect against certain strains of the disease. Immunity can wear off – remember to have your titres checked via blood test if you are concerned.
There has not, to date been a reliable study that proves vaccines are linked to developing conditions such as autism and autoimmune disorders, however it is a regularly reported coincidence by parents with children with these conditions.
Do you know what you're eating?
Have you ever stopped and looked at what's in the food you're eating. Those long winded names, numbers and obscure words like "flavour"? When a friend of mine started telling me about artifical colours and flavours in food I admit I was pretty lax in the observant parent stakes. Yes, like most parents, I noticed my child "went hypo" after eating red frogs or drinking green cordial. But what I had never considered was all the other "ingredients" listed in foods, what they meant and what sort of effect they could have on my children and even myself.
After reading Sue Dengate's book "Fed Up" my eyes were open to the onslaught of chemicals our bodies encountered everyday. I was shocked, and at first adhered to the common thinking that if these things were really that bad for us, they wouldn't be there. When reports started surfacing about bans on artifical colours in the UK I started to look more closely at the research.
Unfortunately very limited testing is actually done on the effects these products have on behaviour and other physical symptoms. In addition, it is not just one or two things that we ingest each day, it's the compounding effect of the multitudes of artifical colours, flavours, preservatives and sweeteners that we expose our bodies to each and every day. On Sue Dengates website, "Fed Up With Food Additives", she states that most people consume approximately 20 additives a day, 19 in homecooked food.
What I was unaware of and found most shocking was the range of reactions caused by additives. We have all heard about hypoactive children and 'going silly', but I hadn't considered longer term effects; things such as moodiness, depression, exzema and cold symptoms. As adults we often see reactions in our children and yet assume it's ok for us to consume the same food. I found from personal experience that although I may not feel like running round and round the washing line getting dizzy, I could become very snappy, tired or even experience asthma-like symptoms after consuming some additives. I also had never taken the time to watch my children's behaviour in the days following exposure to high quanities of these things, it is not a simple reaction that passes in a few hours, the effects can be seen even days after ingesting these things, particularly when they build up over a number of days - such as on holdidays, over christmas or long road trips.
The good news is that the tide does seem to be turnng against the use of additives in our food. Recently in Europe the five top artificial food colours were banned. In Australian products we are seeing a very slow change to companies advertising "no artifical ...". However, as a compulsive label checker I stress that you should always confirm from the ingredient label what is and isn't in the food. A packet which may claim to have no artifical colours or flavours may have 3 different artifical preservatives or sweeteners or flavour enhancers. Companies are also not required to report preservatives if used in very small amounts or in the cooking process, so it may pay to ring a manufacturer to get all the information if you find you or your children are reacting to additives in food. But the change is coming and the more educated and aware we become, the more companies are going to have to make the change, and if one company can produce a cereal or bread without preservatives - why not all of them?
As Sue Dengate says in her books and on her website, our food has changed! It is no longer a simple choice of nutrition and convenience. We, as consumers, need to fight for our right to good, wholesome food without unnecessary additives and preservatives.
This list of food additives is taken from the Fed Up website - more information is available directly from their site
Some additives that can cause problems
ARTIFICIAL COLOURS
In sweets, drinks, takeaways, cereals and many processed foods
102 tartrazine, 104 quinoline yellow, 110 sunset yellow, 122 azorubine, 123 amaranth, 124 ponceau red, 127 erythrosine, 129 allura red, 132 indigotine,133 brilliant blue, 142 green S, 143 fast green FCF, 151 brilliant black, 155 chocolate brown
NATURAL COLOUR
In yoghurts, icecreams, popcorn etc, 160a is a safe alternative
160b annatto
PRESERVATIVES
200-203 sorbates - in margarine, dips, cakes, fruit products
210-213 benzoates - in juices, soft drinks, cordials, syrups, medications
220-228 sulphites - in dried fruit, fruit drinks, sausages and wine (for adults only of course)
280-283 propionates - in bread, crumpets, bakery products
249-252 nitrates, nitrites - in processed meats like ham
SYNTHETIC ANTIOXIDANTS
In margarines, vegetable oils, fried foods, snacks, biscuits etc
310-312 Gallates
319-320 TBHQ, BHA, BHT - 306-309 are safe alternatives
FLAVOUR ENHANCERS
In many foods
621 MSG, 627, 631, 635 disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate, ribonucleotides
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